Must suck to be so terrible at doing what you find enjoyable.

You want for freaky dreams? Nicotine patch. The my-dog-is-in-mortal-peril / abusive-older-bro-being-mean / total-end-of-the-world cycle of nightmares (sometimes all 3 in one night) makes me want to quit quitting just to have "normal" dreams again...

Saw a family all dressed in white polos and jeans get their holiday pic taken at a Civil War Fort. It was extremely offensive to me to see their cheeryfake smiles as they nonchalantly posed at a place where people had died. I didn't say anything since my efforts towards tact when I'm enraged don't go so well usually.…

Went away for my first semester of college, came back at Xmas break to find my parents had given away my cat and got a yorkie terrier.

I'm a dog person now.

Hmph. Good deeds are fairy dust on a unicorn: irrelevant because they already glitter like "c-beams in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate".

What matters all your goody-two-shoes goody-goodness if there is no Jesunculus co-piloting your soul? You are merely "o" . . . without the g-o-d in "good". That's right, you're a…

Gah, everybody else drinks like a grownup, but I can't help it that my taste-buds are a 4-year-old and like to "relax" by pretending it's recess:

Cream Soda + High-pulp OJ =

Female combat soldiers will ruin this country because any time they shoot an enemy combatant their maternal instincts will kick in and they'll have to go tuck a blanket around the dying guy and feed him sips of homemade chicken soup [carried in their canteens, of course], while gently brushing back the fallen…

Hillary who?

Anybody else think it's ironic there are actual crickets chirping for the first 2:30 minutes of his speech?

My brother, who is also adopted from different parents than I am, doesn't wish to search for them and is content to believe they are wealthy and wonderful and that his father is gay (my brother is gay). Not sure where he gets the last part, but hey, it's his fantasy so go for it.

After I found my biomom my brother…

I had one of those, too, but when I finally met my biomom she told me she had been wrong about who my father was, so I basically grew up with a lie. It wasn't a devastating lie, but it was strange to find out at 24 that who I thought was my biological father was nothing like me...

It also takes a special kind of person to give their baby up for adoption. I know it psychologically scarred my biomom - to the point where it contributed to her anxiety disorder degenerating into "hoarding": she was pressured to give up something irreplaceable (her firstborn child), regretted the decision and changed…

As a kid I thought my biodad was Journey frontman Steve Perry, even though I sang like a strangling tomcat [and looking back now, I look nothing like him...]

It is surreal when you meet your biological parent and for the first time in your life you physically resemble someone. Now only if I genetically didn't resemble my mentally-ill biomom, sigh...

Also interesting is that I supposedly take after my biological father in personality and bearing (e.g. gait - how weird is…

Socialist! A True American would have one twice that size.

Also, kinda wish this was a rainbow flag...

Late to the party (it's over already), but found this in my comics stash:

I object . . . that I can't tear my eyes away from the sight! There doesn't happen to be a gif of this, is there? That old saying about Marilyn Monroe's buttocks as she walked away looking like two puppies fighting under a sheet applies here.

[although I am feeling a bit weird since that's the exact color and material…

Call me nostalgic, but I wouldn't mind a return to the 30's style [the belts just make it!]:

*Ewrk* Why, a blond* Batman would be as bad as a blond Bond...

Everybody knows Blond Guys Are Evil [via TV Tropes], so the VILLAIN, not the hero, is the one who should be the blonde!

________
*For all who will argue it's light brown/dirty blond - he's fair-haired and no amount of dye will change that. Blonde is a state…

Fun Science Fact: because of their distinct head shape, hammerheads are the only member of Selachii who can sense menstruation through the screen; so to avoid becoming prey whilst watching Shark Week, sit at least 150 yards away from the tv, spray about the area of your lap eucalyptus-scented air-freshener (Navy tests…