Why not make a new name comprised of the 2 last names? And if I had been my college friend Liz, I would have kept my name not just because it's the right thing to do, but why should I marry into the Greasers?

When, on purpose, I would take longer at the checkout grocery register in the rural Ohio town I lived in, because the Amish man in line behind me wouldn't even set down his stuff on the belt or step into the aisle because I was a woman, then I guess I can answer, "yes, I did ridicule the Amish". Also because of their…

This is endemic in our culture. And for pure victim-blaming patriarchy-rationalization, cue "GOP commentator and Fox News political analyst" Karen Hanretty:

The Principal was a pimp. He offered up this poor woman like a perk to this visiting official. And when the object objected, the cowards hid behind official power. Communism, patriarchy, and corruption - who can parse them apart when they've fused become such a hulking monster?

I'm not trying to misery-check you or claim Higher Victim status, but the search for intimacy (the movies were lying when people fucked first then fell in love) led me to having too many sexual experiences into my 30's. I effectively sterilized myself, whether from HPV or those two (!) bouts of gonorrhea, almost a…

No, I agree that this has all gone to his head (the one the world's resting on). I guess I have more sympathy for the minnow who thinks he's the Primo Piscis in the little pond, especially when he can't see the truly Big Fish lurking in the reeds, the glint of hunger in its dead black eyes...

Yellow Brick Road to the Land of Os, my ass!

Slap me in the head, cus my mind needs some expanding! Buffet my brainpan about with your tiny line-less palms so that I may achieve genius! Smack that fat noggin o'mine, causing the sulci to swell pleasingly, like a cantaloupe left out in the sun! Pinky, brother, wait for me, the world is ours once some ex-whores…

Men under 30 are ridiculous, because the world revolves around their penises; atlas with a boner, on which the world spins.

If bullying becomes illegal, humans are illegal. That certainly isn't the way to handle it, silly funny girl. Smoke some more weed and come up with other brilliant plans...

What's in Carley's closet?

If she does that on camera, I shudder to think what she does when no one's watching...

It'll certainly be interesting when Carley/Darla turn 15 and are making out in their car, looking over the boyfriend's head at Melissa in the backseat, showing her all the moves...

Because Melissa IS Darla. And because she's so narcissistic, there is no Melissa and there certainly is no Carley. There is only Darla. Darla is the only one who matters.

Oh, I'm gonna be a beauty when I'm 87! All that cigarette smoke and bad nutrition, sleepless nights and not enough sex!

Hmm, the times they aren't a changing all that much, or so says this actual spinster librarian. In high school co-ed sports, even though I was a good athlete, the boys didn't pass. I had a male friend tell me I couldn't be a lawyer because I was a girl. When I mentioned my secret desire to be a Navy SEAL (pre-Demi…

"Ringers"? I thought it was "The Truman Show II: Buffy & Hayley 'Go Away' to Summer Camp!"

No more Pray the Gay Away! That takes so much effort anyway, all that constant Sunny Denial. All you have to do to recover/repent/reclaim/refashion from homosexuality is style your hair the Right way, the look God intended you to! No more Devil's Whirls n' Curls! I'm gonna comb that man from outta my hair?