"At CBS, we know our viewership is relatively ancient. So we're giving our viewership free Boniva and prostate exams respectively to each gender. Because we care. Duh."

According to Hollywood, being bipolar means being proficient in psychotic breakdowns and knife-wielding shenanigans.

"1-800-Ghost Dance" - Hella
"Lawn Full of Marigolds" - Joshua James
"Owl Waltz" - Seabear
"All My Friends" - LCD Soundsystem
"Blind Night Errand" - Mount Kimbie
"A Year In The Garden Shed" - Tigers on Trains
"Wind Chimes" - The Beach Boys
"Dear Employee" - Papercuts
"Electriclife" - Psychic Ills
"Darlin' Do Not Fear" - Brett…

Whenever I masturbate, I can feel the haemophilia* curdle like freshly-made cheese on my genetic code.

That's what Chip Kelly wants. That's why the majority of the players he's getting from the trades are from Oregon. He wants a fast, complicated system that demands players who were thoroughly schooled in that offensive system in college. Getting rid of McCoy and Macklin for diminishing returns strikes me as curious…

I think what Chip really wants is to trade up and get Marcus Mariota in the draft. I think he realizes that Bradford will never be a starter. Maybe an emergency back-up. But even that's entirely predicated upon the condition of his oft-injured knees.

NFL TRADE/FREE AGENCY THREAD OR WHY CHIP KELLY IS CRAY CRAY

“I’m overweight, I’m depressed, I don't know why my sex drive is low."

This Sequel. So hot right now. Sequel.

LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOOONNNEEEE. *cries*

Cancer was a disease that could be fatal to Humans. Movac Arisster was afflicted with cancer as of 40 ABY and given only six months to live. Lung cancer was one of the known forms of cancer.
- From Cancer
AIDS
- From AIDS

I don't know why I'm posting this, but this feels oddly appropriate in Cosby's case. http://memeblender.com/wp-c…

More like 10,000 years amirite?

Bat-Cow.

DUDE. YES. I can't stand that shit.

I have a bag of fresh, unpolluted air from a Phish concert in 2002 (I've never been to a Phish concert suckers!).

¿Por favor casarse conmigo, Senor Spielbergo?

Watching Fear and Loathing is usually a yearly activity for me. It's not only an enjoyable experience, but almost feels like a religious experience. It was a very formative movie in my brief existence on this planet, particularly when it comes to my endless fascination with drugs and the lifestyle it permits. When I…

There's not enough opiates and benzodiazepines in the world to convince me that going to a 27 hour Superhero movie marathon is a worthwhile activity.

We'd like to use Phone a Friend… for some phone sex.