OEDIPUS REX!

I'm not saying it was aliens.

Coming soon to TLC, here comes (no, not you Honey Boo Boo) a new incesty reality television show that the public has been clamoring to watch since the dawn of the Mormon Cult's mere existence— its Sister Wives: Incesty Relationships on The A.V. Club!

I'll be contemplating the merits of mixing absinthe with champagne. And then possibly downloading D'Angelo and The Vanguard's brilliant new album Black Messiah, and then blaring it for all in the neighborhood to hear on my new Wren wireless speaker.

It rubs the barbiturates on the skin or it gets the hose again.

But racism says I don't wear white after Labor Day.

Arg. My name is Captain Ahab and it is my belief that Limbaugh is much like a white whale. A white whale who is susceptible to my Oxycontin Harpoon.

More importantly, will the third season of Hannibal be served with fava beans and a nice Chianti?

For Reverend Green.
For Reverend Green.
For REVEREND GREEEEEEN.

I once dined with baroque zombies on the fragrant marshmallow tides of the French Riviera.
Mademoiselle Meyer offered us tea cakes and salad niccose.
Goose pate was wedged between the mangled toes.

POEM THREAD
Here's one I wrote just this last night. At the time, I was.. let's just say.. chemically addled— engorged with thoughts and feelings of euphoria. And it is in these moments, the poet inside me becomes a psychic monster who siphons out every ounce of creativity that
swirls around in the fleshy computer that…

"In Too Deep" - Genesis
"Dance a Little Closer" - Holy Ghost!
"Traversing the Universe" - The Laurels
"Hold On, Hold on" - Thief
"Cleopatra Eyes" - The Vera Violets
"Hard Days 1,2,3,4" - Loney Dear
"Lightning Rod, Run" - Deerhoof
"Past a Weatherbeaten Fencepost" - Brightblack Morning Light
"It is What it is" - Blood Orange
"My…

2014: The Year In Which The Outrage Well Went Dry So I Shrugged My Shoulders And Found Comfort In My Prescribed Anti-Anxiety Medication While Simultaneously Having Marathon Viewings Of Both Super Metroid and Metroid Fusion, Chrono Trigger, and of Super Mario RPG: Legend of The Seven Stars longplays on Youtube So That…

Oh no, I saw all of those movies. Technically, I didn't see The Little Mermaid in theaters. But we got that on VHS soon thereafter. I liked Aladdin (and yes I did see it in theaters), but I'm not a huge fan of the music. Now Beauty and The Beast was a real tour de force. It was a great movie AND it had great music. I…

Damn! That is one epic blow job!

Close but no cigar.

I hate HATE that some people think of this song as OMGTHISISTHEBESTSONGDISNEYHASEVERMADE.

"I could've sworn this Thorazine needle was actually an alien probing device!"

She loves you.

It's true, doc. I'm a wabbit.