Don't doubt the power of the panties to the side trick. Love me some side panty action.

Been there brotha. I tried for two years with my girl, but she always claimed the ass is sin.

Patricia Driscoll accused him of smashing her head into a motorhome wall three times.

STAHP IT! The more we talk about them the more expensive they become!

And I'm even more confused why Buick still exists.

You should have gone to the bathroom and said "I'll send you something too", then sent him a picture of a bigger dick.

Save yourselves the trouble and make your word processor always auto-correct "Miata" to "S2000".

I sold my 2002 Mustang GT for $5000 and bought a 1988 Civic wagon with 200k on it for $1900 back in Dec. I love the car, the mpgs are great for road gigs (i'm a comedian) and when it overheated and blew a headgasket, I researched how to change it on the internet and did it myself on the street in front of my apt!…

Why are my eyes bleeding?

Adam Levine — the tribal arm band tattoo that successfully wished his way into becoming a full human man

If you've been relying on your hands and mouth to satisfy your partners, you are probably actually WAY ahead of the game compared to the big dick guys. They can think the dick is all they need and can be self-centered and kind of arrogant too. Happening upon a man who is willing to go the whole nine to satisfy you is…

But cutting men at birth is okay in this country.

I used the word girthy no fewer than a dozen times on my first date with my wife - it was 6 am and we were watching porn on a laptop at a diner. I'm not saying its normal but it felt right.

Snowden is a hero. The United States betrayed us by secretly and illegally spying on its own citizens, and he gave up his whole life to tell people the truth. Fuck you, Kerry, and everyone else who complicity allowed the NSA to do what it did.

haha yeah man up and accept whatever bullshit excuse for justice a bunch of vindictive shitbirds with lots to hide will cook up for you.

I wish Obama would man up and take an actual stand on financial reform regulations, Wall St prosecutions, Net Neutrality, campaign finance reform, the Keystone pipeline, student loan debt, and the failed drug war.

I don't blame him for getting out of the country when it's incredibly obvious that the country will do everything possible to NOT give him a fair trial. There is not a chance in hell that Snowden would be given proper due process, just look at what happened to Manning. It was years until something was done, and even…

Translation: come back so we can run you through a secret, kangaroo court before locking you away in a dark, featureless box for the rest of your natural life.