We were all born again after that dunk.

Chris Cornell can scream louder than your kids, always remember that.

Yeah, I guess Tool is more “progressive rock”

Have a Cigar.

TENTACLES OUT!

Among other reasons...

Is there any worse place to be hungover than IKEA?

Did you fight over fancy chairs vs normal chairs? Because FUCK fancy chairs. They want like 5 or 10 extra dollars per chair for some bullshit nobody is going to notice.

4 rules for wedding planning: short ceremony, good food, good booze, and good music.

Roger Goodell’s Kinja handle is Bull Moose?

The story’s author takes us into the living room of Johnstown resident Pam Schilling, a 60-year-old retiree who is already keyed up to vote for Trump in 2020:

6 games, but it would be reduced to 4 if he rapes someone.

It really pissed off Joe Buck, though.

One thing I really did like about the switch was that you could see plays open up like the QB does. It’s one thing when you see the traditional view and you don’t know what’s happening up field, but this Madden-view allowed viewers to see routes develop. Unless you’re a woman.

You seem like someone who has good takes and is fun at parties. Please DM me your info so I can invite you to my next party.

Race officials reportedly became suspicious when the dogs howled the guitar solo from Comfortably Numb in unison.

If he said “SJW” I would have gotten Bingo.

Long: “I’m playing the entire 2017 NFL season without collecting income”

As are most things in my life

He’d fit in well as a deadspin writer/commenter, as in preseason he took every opportunity to pose next to his buddies