Attention David Luiz’s mom: better get back on Twitter.

Right hand on pink, left foot on stink.

.

Come on man. Put that away. Tim Howard deserved it.

it's the shirt/buttons/chest.

I find this all hard to believe.

Maybe they just can't handle the scope of the request.

Those poor monkeys. I guess they'd know better than anyone else how fucked up Tennessee law is.

Well, technically Eli only has one. He lost the other one in the ball pit at a McDonald's PlayPlace.

3 kitchens and I didn't see 1 lunch pail. smh

It was found 20mi from where it was found?? Whoa, Lost and Found inception.

I'm not a Muslim. Bacon with eggs, every time. Always felt bad for Ice Cube when I heard that line. That's like the only part of the song that isn't a good day.

What did the Good Year Blimp read?

Agreed. Nobody could do a song that is a complete parody of itself and make it completely kick ass like 2000ish Beck.

Hey Bill,

Emmit Smith: [nods vigorously in agreement].

Texans receiver Andre Johnson has spent lots of money on toys for local kids in protective services' care for eight straight years.

I have just one question.

Jesus's Crucifixion Was Planned, Practiced, Therefore Thorny

Reporter: So when your receiving corp held you down and played Pink Belly with you- that was premeditated too, right?