What'd your mom cook for breakfast? Any hog?

You can tell Bill to have a coke and a smile and to shut the fuck up....one of my favorite punchlines. Just drop that line with someone and if they get the reference, then they're alright in my book.

Yep, that's the one. Thanks for posting the link. Credit where credit is due.

Full disclaimer, I totally stole this joke from a commenter on the Suge Knight article up on Gawker. It is just amazing that this article went up right after I read that news.

And even Suge Knight is killing people again! The 90's are officially back!

Haven't read the comments yet, but I'm sure I'm not the only male former swimmer to chime in. I shaved twice a year for a few years...around when I was 14-17. I had no idea what I was doing. I hadn't even really shaved my face much. Razor burn (didn't know the exfoliating tip) all over my legs. I swear I still have…

Correction: Emmit Smiff: [Nod vigmanimously in achievement]

Peter King - 'I don't get it'

TOO SOON!!!!!

@edsbs you bastard! #freetoddgurley

OTJ training that could potentially end you career. See e.g. Prothro, Tyrone. While my heart doesn't necessarily weep for these players, the rule is stupid.

Are you Peirre the Pelican?

So, he's challenging him to donate to the American Sign Language foundation?

I'm licensed in two states, taken three exams. After getting a job, my office wanted me to get licensed across the river in South Carolina. That's a three day exam. They had a lottery for laptop availabilty my first go around. Now, I'm not making excuses, because I didn't get the job done. But, having not hand written…

So he's 58? He might be more than just 'feeling' a little German.

His dog is Portuguese, people forget that

So, like my wife's vagina. Got it.

The harder they come, the Taco they Fall.

He just tapped it in

Looks like #cancelcolbert really did the trick. I sure as hell hope this doesn't mean Rovell is going to become the president of ESPN #cancellrovell