It’s for stuff like this that I wish I still lived in Orange County. So I could get in my car, drive over to the lawyer’s office who sponsored this bill, drink some milk, then take a huge, fiery, lactose-intolerant poop all over his front door. I don’t wish him harm even though his proposal is one of the most…

Also, whomever designed it... I’m like, 95% sure that’s Comic Sans, but I don’t want to type that in all caps to confirm it.

This is shitty for so many reasons. For Easter, for the victim, for everyone who wants to see rapists get theirs in court. Watkins, do the right thing and order a new trial.

Yup, every time I think of Satan, I think of that movie. Thank you.

Petition for you and Moriarty to be the next co-bachelorettes.

I fractured my ankle in high school and had to take a correspondence course - so I took water aerobics. And that is hands-down the best form of exercise I’ve ever had. My muscles were stronger and evenly worked, my cardio was more fulfilling and I just felt better. I’ve told friends who were pregnant or injured to try…

I love my dad, the lifelong goof. He punked me all the time when I was a kid. One of my favorites now is when we were riding in the car, he used to tell me he had eyes in the back of his head, so when I was making angry faces at him because I was pissed, he would call me out and I had NO IDEA he could see me in the…

Your best friend’s mom is kickass.

dying. I’m dying. VCR!!!!!

I’m very curious, do you enjoy running? If so, do you hate your implants when you run now? I have huge natural breasts and fucking hate them so much whenever I run/work out in general, so I always wonder if girls with implants end up feeling my same hatred after they make the switch.

I remember hearing that too, but I comforted myself by saying “big boobs sag because they are big!” and got myself a pushup bra. Bam, problem solved.

This is where my dumbass friends got the idea....

That reminds me of middle school, when people were like “you only have big boobs if you can hold a pencil under them!!!!” I got my boobs early, so I was like “shit bitch give me that pencil CASE and watch this!!”

The Armani thing, I feel like there’s a backstory there that we are missing. The Kardashians were some of the first folks to talk about how they got paid like $10k per tweet for brands, so you KNOW she wasn’t doing that for free. That means she must have been putting out one of her ~*~ToTeS aUtHeNtIc~*~ tweets and…

Is this like that time they put Paris Hilton in the House of Wax remake and everyone cheered when she died? cuz it feels like it.

I was always the “giantess” in school too, at 5’ 11” - but my sister is 6’ 1” and I thought I was going to be taller than her since she only has a size 9 foot, and I have a size 12. I WAS ROBBED OF AT LEAST FOUR INCHES, NATURE. Everyone knows foot size correlates to height!!! Ugh.

I already commented about my backstory with movie theaters but I just remembered this peach so I wanted to share.

OH. MY. GOD. The first one. As the child of parents who ran an independent movie theater, I had customers that unreasonable pretty much DAILY when I worked for my ‘rents. They made me start at the bottom, cleaning theaters and work my way up to manager and call them by their real names at work, not Mom or Dad (which,…

I would like to see the heels they are referring to, because I know *I* can book it at a full sprint in chunky heels. Thin ones, not so much.

I think that’s called just plain not eating. Except for kale. Kale is cool. (Is kale cool?)