:(

I really love YOUR nails. They are perfect. I feel stabby when I see those pointy witch nails on otherwise well groomed and fashionable women.

I really really love your nails. I wish I could do it. I just started getting acrylics but I get them cut so short it's pointless to even have them. They just feel dirty if I let them grow because I garden a lot. But my nails were breaking and bubbling and I don't have to get them done more than every 3 weeks since I…

You've got to cut those suckers, sorry. I work in medical software and there is nothing - NOTHING - more annoying than attempting to train someone with talons. They can't type, they're slow as SHIT, and for some reason, they're always slower than the rest of the staff to catch on. (I am in NO way implying you're…

I cannot believe this post contains a reference to eXistenZ . That's my favorite movie that goes absolutely wrong. Can we just talk about everything that goes wrong in that movie that still, somehow, make it more awesome?

Same with Sha-la-lala-lee Woodpecker. I’ve suddenly started seeing her everywhere.

No, but I had the reverse happen (turns out he’s gay and he actively disliked me!) about eleventy times in high school.

this story was an emotional rollercoaster

Ellie, this is like the start of every romcom/romance novel ever.

I still think he deserves to be sent to the Sarlacc pits for not naming himself DJ Hansolo.

Is any single word as creepy as “nubile”?

Ever had a crush on a dude, but you thought, naaah, he’s gay, and then of course he’s straight and you find out way too late that not only was he straight but he liked you? This happened to me and it’s totally irrelevant but for the fact that he looked almost exactly like this dude.

Do people like him?

That was akin to my first thought as well. "Isn't she 17?" was what came to mind.

Q:

Is this one a minor? Because if I was a hetero dude who subscribed to GQ and this showed up in my mailbox, I would be... concerned.

“That’s not about me, so we can move on,”

she looks so scared. y u so scared? is it because your bikini top is DEFYING THE LAWS OF SCIENCE?!

I wish motherly empathy/instincts could be weaponized. These fuckers would BURN.