I bet he thought he could do voices, but really just sounded like himself.

Here's something I've always wondered: does "sha-mon" actually mean anything? Or is it just an exclamation? I feel like I already know the answer to this question but I wanted to ask anyway.

We used to call people and just flush the toilet. We thought we were hysterical. Call ID ruined everything.

I will be adding Mr Wall to my list. I LOVE calling my mom and asking if she has Prince Albert or Olive Oyle in a can.

I don't want any of these things to win. I'm still bitter about Being A Cat Lady losing to old shitty photo album garbage.

Sex is great though!

This is so boring. Sex is going to win. STOP BEING SO PREDICTABLE.

I've been married for 10 years and have two little kids, so sex vs binge watching came down to a battle of which thing that I never get to do do I miss more.

so last year booze won, this year sex will win.

I always thought being an Aunt was actually perfect. You pick up the kids when you feel like having a kid day, you take them somewhere cool where you spoil them and yourself, then you drop them back with their parents and have a relaxing mani/pedi followed by dinner and drinks in a fabulous outfit with your fabulous…

Jesus, it was like 8 SECONDS before I got preached to about polyamory.

I have a zero tolerance policy for people who tell me I would love my biological child the most, or implying that you can't love stepchildren, or that your feelings change when something is ripped from lions and/or loins. I'm adopted. What they're saying is that my parents didn't love me as much as their "real"…

Hear, hear! This was great.

Childfree definitely sounds more liberating. Like we should be skipping through a grassy field. (maybe I'm equating it with fancy-free)

Holy crap, really?! No one has ever said boo to me about it. People ask if we're going to have another and I just smile and say, "Nope, we're one and done!" and they generally just laugh and nod. (Sometimes I also mention that I am 4o and girlfriend, I am tired enough with just the one.)

Jesus. It explains a lot as to why my main anxiety about having children isn't the child - but other parents.

I'm a parent and I've thought an awful lot about this and I think the "logic" is something like this: Being a mother is hard, therefore all mothers are selfless, therefore anyone who chooses not to be a mother is selfish. FWIW, I've also heard that all mothers are selfish. Poking at the squiggly mass of…

It's ironic how that works, because most of the people that have criticized my lack of interest in children seemed to have had them for selfish reasons: "What happens when you're old? Who'll take care of you?/Don't you want a mini-version of yourself?". My mother has even started hinting that she wanted grandchildren…

I empathize strongly with the childless by choice, because I've been so badly treated for having an only. Among the comments I used to receive when our kid was younger:

I'm a parent. I did not have kids because I thought it was the right thing to do for the world. I had kids because I wanted them. It's probably the most selfish thing I ever did. Now that they are here I do unselfish things for them. But the having of them was definitely all for me.