No, that was a Dracula.

I saw Kinison and Dice at the Comedy Store one night in the late eighties...thought I was going to fuckin’ die (Kinison did an unanounced drop-in, Dice hadn’t hit yet)...but fuck, I’d hate to see a transcript of those performances now. Shit would look like a hate crime.

No, thought you can rent “The Last Action Hero”, The Last Picture Show”, “The Last Boy Scout”, “The last Emperor” and “The Last Remake of Beau Geste”.

There’s a whole section...right before the beaded curtain that leads to the porn section. 

I live in L.A. and in my youth worked for touring rock acts...so I have seen fucktons of celebs in mundane places. These are some of the most mundane:

There was a recurring motif when I went to the Hollywood Gold’s Gym in the ‘90's, where you would see somebody and be like:”That guy two bikes down looks like an older,…

Yay for equality?

He’s really the only main cast member left who hasn’t been raped...now that death’s icy embrace has freed Murtagh.

Well...except for the baddies. It seems like on this show, the only thing that keeps you safe from rape is being a complete douche.

They should just get Bill Murray to replace Chevy Chase.

IT HAS WORKED BEFORE.

The kid is actually the one to blame for its parents splitting up.

They usually are, and should be told so at every opportunity.

YOU KNOW WHO’S PASSWORD WAS IN GERMAN?????

HE HAD TWO REDEEMING FEATURES:

1. Looking really cool
2. He rode a dinosaur.

When I went there in the early/mid 2000's, one of the white tigers woke up, hung its ass over one of the water pools they had that face where the people walk through and pumped out a massive tiger shit like one of those things you pump play-dough through to make different shapes.

...it was...magnificent. To this day, I…

It’s one of those weird ones where the wrong version makes more sense!

CHAMPING.

I feel like we need to get Willie Nelson as the Ancient One, perhaps...

Well, the sweater thing is nice, but let’s not forget America’s ass...

I feel like there should be an Avengers of greatest living humans, and this is Evans’ applying for membership.

In this scenario, Jimmy Carter is the Nick Fury...they’ve got Dolly Parton and Brian May on board...but are looking for some younger members to carry the torch...

I rewatched ROTJ after it was featured in the popcorn champs...and it should be wayyy lower on your list.

It happens a LOT tho. It’s up there with the whole every-arab-is-a-terrorist thing. There were like two other shows we watched the week before with German who SURPRISE! were Nazis.

If you listen on the wind late at night, you can hear Post Malone giggling at Wes Scantlin...

It’s great that they are moving and will (hopefully) come back, but maaaan, there are going to be SO many businesses that are closed now that are just not going to re-open...