It’s good to know Vanilla and the venue owner finally decided to stop, collaborate, and listen.

may that godforsaken rat die the death of a thousand screams. he is in hell. that is far too good for this abomination. when they changed the name of showbiz pizza in the early 90s, i was in grade school and immediately my life became hell. fuck that rat with something rusted. may the filthy tuna fish be next...

I'm inspired! Next... bike shorts!

Ok, going to gush for a ‘graph or two.  Your boomer pals and daughter are not wrong.

I like IKEA. I find putting together their furniture soothing. I enjoy watching people completely short circuit with spacial relationships trying to fit large rectangular boxes into their small, not rectangular cars. I derive great joy figuring out exactly how much I can tetris into my car.

America! We’re so great that I’m sick of winning!!!!

One of the grosser aspects in all of this is this interview Jack Dorsey did (with Andrew Yang, of all people!) about giving away his billions, and the headline kind of says it all:

He may be wearing glasses or a kilt or whatever, but that goatee is wearing an Adidas tracksuit 24-7.

They’re getting ready to transition to Jared taking Fauci’s role. He just has a few odds and ends to take care of on the Middle East peace agreement, then he’ll be available.

That’s true of all married men isn’t it?

Shelter Catstravaganza!

Jared Leto didn’t know about coronavirus because he was on a meditation retreat, of course

I want to blame my total unawareness of this on my distorted sense of time due to my existence as a parent wherein all things are both immediately occurring and never happening simultaneously.

As someone who replaced a very gross goatee with a much more double-chin-hiding chin curtain years back, I am disappointed that after a decade and a half with facial hair, I will be back to getting carded buying R-rated tickets at the movie theater as a 38 year old man.

I’m horrible at math that doesn’t have to do with crafting or Old Navy sales so I did have to think this one out!

I just let out a sigh so deep and guttural the ancestors heard it.

‘How is it even remotely possible that the Democratic leadership seems to be fucking us over right now.’

Holy shit. I actually agree with a publicist. This is turning into a very weird day. 

This sounds so fucking dumb, and I really truly hope it’s open when I am in CA later this year so that me and my friends (we used to get drunk and watch Top Model every week) can get absolutely hammered and go check it out together. I’ll live tweet that shit for you guys.

Plying VIPs in Seoul night clubs with prostitutes is the status quo and has been for several decades (including some that were owned by proprietors of certain NYC Korean clubs). Seungri must have pissed off the wrong people to get busted for it.