Let’s all make a pact to ignore Woody Allen, everything he says, and everything he does. 

One of my good friends took her parents to get their first jabs. Their appointments were at the end of the day, so when she was there she put her name on a wait list and hung around. When they were done with appointments they had some doses left over, so she got one, and is scheduled for her second one next week.

Really, though, as long as efforts have been made to offer them to the elderly or essential workers first, why shouldn’t people do that? The leftover vaccines will just go to waste. 

I’ve given side eye to stories of young and healthy vaccine hunters lurking at pharmacies in hopes of getting daily leftovers, but considering that Kloots lost her husband to COVID after a long and horrible battle and has a small daughter who needs her, I’m willing to give her a pass. My husband and I would love to…

So get a fucking biometric gun safe. When my wife and I decided to get a handgun, a safe was of course a requirement. And what we ended up with was one that offers access through either a button combination, or a biometric fingerprint. If I REALLY need access to the gun, I can get it in about one second.
Having them…

Well, yes an no. Modern firearms theology says to keep your guns locked up when not in use, but that is far from a universal agreement. Some people like this nut feel unsafe unless they have instant access to a loaded “gun” at all times. Which is nonsense of course, but it’s a common point of view.

Yup. I have deep Pennsyltucky gun-owning, deer-hunting relatives and they are ADAMANT about proper gun handling and storage. They also stick to rifles and handguns (no showoff AKs), obey all regulations, kill as quickly and cleanly as possible, track any animal they wound and use every possible part of the animals…

Or hundreds of that little white, blob, pus-looking ball thing he coughed up and then swallowed from a couple of years back?

I would even take a helping of green jello mold with floaty bits.

How badly do you have to want to be First Lady to sleep with that blobfish?

I hate block parties and actively avoid talking to my neighbors, but if you had a block party with Ted Cruz’s and Rand Paul’s neighbors, I would set up permanent residence wherever that was. I would even take a helping of green jello mold with floaty bits.

It tracks that the Cruzes have the kind of shitty “friends” who won’t tell them a senator going to Cancun while his constituents freeze to death is a bad idea, but will tattle on them to the New York Times.

She can’t handle the kids on the flight but can totally handle them for a week in Mexico? Sure Ted. 

THIS. Folks all busy reading him for filth for bailing on TX citizenry during a weather disaster....have totally forgotten to ream him for travelling during a pandemic.

I’d be amazed if he actually was going with any friends (his or his daughters).

Filled with travel sizes of hair grease.

That was my first thought. And even without the pandemic, assuming he was telling the truth (hahaha), it still makes his family look like spoiled brats. While the rest of the state freezes, the girls get to go on a fun vacation?

And I hope the Houston PD told him to suck it. 

The pandemic has been keeping pro athletes sidelined, it’s true. 

RE: the Mr. El Moussa tat and its subsequent provenance... oh lawd.