I see Steven Segal?

If you can't grow decent facial hair, don't grow any.

you can hide a lot of lies in a GIANT TURTLENECK

I work in Ayurveda (alternative medicine) taught to me by Indian physicians. One day a lady came to me and asked

My first serious high school boy friend would spend an hour gratifying me in every way possible that wasn’t the hot beef injection. He was legitimately talented and giving.

More realistic than Pennsatucky’s magical perfect teenage (?) boyfriend of respect and orgasms.

Jamie Dornan just got 50000000% less hot. Moar beard, please.

I HAVE TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE WITH THE CAPTIONS ON OTHERWISE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS HAPPENING. HAD TO DO THIS WITH SEASON 1 AS WELL. TYPING IN ALL CAPS CUZ I GENUINELY THOUGHT I WAS DEAF AND THIS IS A HUGE RELIEF.

Thank you, Nicki Minaj, for highlighting the importance of “good quality” toilet paper. Some of the bad ones just remind me of the old-school stuff from elementary school that was basically tiny squares of very fine-grain sandpaper. I’m sure some of you remember the kind I’m talking about—it literally was square.

Slaves did not lose their dignity because the government allowed them to be enslaved. My employees did not lose their dignity because I kept trying to show them my dick and putting my pubic hairs on their drinks. If we’re being honest with each other, I’m not sure what the word dignity means. What’s happening, again?…

is it just me, or does that snippet of Thomas’ dissent kind of read like he’s in favor of slavery and internment camps?

Clarence Thomas talking about dignity is pretty rich all things considered.

Thomas’ own marriage is only legal in all 50 states because of a Supreme Court decision. Just sayin’.

If this guy writes an article on why a “large” orange juice is always the size of a thimble, I will retract every swear word I have uttered about him.

I feel like this might be a very limited exception to a general rule I agree with. You saw her struggling with a specific task that you definitely knew the extent of—it’s not like when a host is unable to seat people on the waitlist after the exact amount of time quoted, which could be due to any number of issues…

i know he’s reportedly kinda a skeeze, but hot damn. hot fucking damn.

Yup.