To be fair to Balfour, that thing gets fantastic gas footage.

Grant Balfour has to be the worst possible name a reliever can have in a payoff-pitch situation.

Figures Rice couldn't manage more than 3 yards on this carry

Reporter: Hey Alex, just one last question- when you were out there, were you thinking about your recently deceased brother?

I know he usually has his helmet on, but I pictured Brent Celek a LOT differently.

I'll just leave this here.

They call him the Secretary of Education because he schools everyone.

Fucking Icarus, just can't let things go.

Edgy.

As a single guy, this is how I'm spending Valentine's day.

You have a racecar which can reach a top speed of 300 MPH

"Are we good?" "Yeah, we're good"

Step 11: Erase "10 Steps to Commit a Murder and Get Away With It" from your browser history.

" He's a cat dressed in human skin " .. I could listen to them do play by play for everything

They do this ALL THE TIME. They used to be better on black Friday—HBO dvd sets for $20 instead of the normal $60 or so, but now everyone has caught on and it's not worth it.

For all the complaints about Sochi's accommodations, it seems these guys had no trouble finding a place to crash.

Well, no shit there were so many crashes. The stupid Russians only finished building half the pipe.

Worst sword design ever.

But the bright side is that you are now the American sports journalist who was banned from the 2014 Olympics for online pics of you yanking off your knob.

Thank you, I was looking for this in the comments. No jokes about it? Damn, readers are slipping.