My takeaway from this...

Oops, thanks for the catch, both fixed!

...so its a pencil?

Wow, you splurged for the animated gif version.

Putin: You know what they say, comrade, a leopard can't change his spots.

Uh, there was an actual Supreme Court behind the tarp, wasn't there?

Mahp!

Someone victimize me quickly. I want to hire this guy yesterday.

It's hard to imagine that, for something this important, a guy could just skate by with almost zero scrutiny. That a guy with none of the requisite qualifications could just slip through the screening process, past dozen of checks, and be allowed to wander - befuddledly - into the inner sanctum of power, interacting…

My girlfriend used the same trick to sneak into my house permanently.

As an Arlington resident, I can attest she just said what many of the county residents feel.

And in other news, Facebook has trademarked the word "paper" and has now started a massive multibillion dollar lawsuit against hammermill

I lived in Arlington, until very recently, for 13 years. Never heard of this place. Never heard of anyone going there for any "nightlife." Never heard of anyone eating there. VERDICT: Shithole.

The real question is, why the hell didn't you sell a Twitter handle you don't use for $50,000?

Me: "Hey, Jim, toss me that bag of Doritos."

OH NO, I AM NOT COOL.

If you like a woman's head and bolt-on tits on a gay athletic man's body, then sure.

Well, it's only as fast as the narrowest tube in the connections.