To combat global warming and polution we need to breed out of the human race the

For self-defense of course. You never know when your front lawn could be attacked by up to 100 duck-sized terrorists.

Fun fact: electric cars date back to the 1880s. Around the turn of the 20th century they were far more popular than gasoline-powered cars. Because of their relative ease of use, electrics became known as “women’s cars”; some men who drove them had fake radiators and starter cranks installed to make them look more…

If there was a way out, I don’t think they’d be living in their cars.

Video games have lied to me yet again! Just like they did about silencers. Next thing you’ll know, it’ll turn out that a single soldier can’t carry 22 weapons and a rocket launcher and still sprint up a mountain!

The Prius is a cool car, don’t listen to the haters.

I drive a Prius. Does this negate every single “shoulda bought a diesel bro” comment on Jalopnik I’ve been forced to read over the past 10 years?

This makes me glad I decided not to get LASIK. I have been wearing glasses for most of my life so idea of ditching them (cause contact lenses hate me) seemed great. But when the doc listed the potential problems, the odds though small, seemed too high for such drastic consequences for what ultimately was a choice…

I gotta say, Freud and Warhol are a bit of a dissapointment...I wouldn’t want my kid idolizing either one. Warhol is a hack idolized by pseudo intellectuals and college art majors and Freud had some nasty drug habits and baseless theories.

Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada.

Congratulations, you passed our secret squirrel testing procedure. You will be receiving a job offer as a Space X booster pilot sooooooooonish.

I love it that he called them out on this shit. . . . .I don’t know how/why they don’t realize how dumb it is that they all use the same “rhetorical strategy”— “well. . . . RONALD REAGAN. . . .”

bernie was sassy as fuck last night

I remember one time I threw the can on the cop, and it bounced off his head, and went straight into the bin. The cop was clearly not impressed by my feat, and proceeded to beat me.

Rode it. Tried to kill me. Slingshot wins.

200 hp and one street tire with next to no weight on the rear. What do you think?

“Helmet”

You sure do live up to your name...

The final request came from my girlfriend two weeks before either of us knew I’d be getting the Slingshot: “I want to learn to drive a stick.”