@JimmyBanks: That makes too much sense. Of course no one's going to listen to you.

@CaptainJack: This is a soft, comfortable chair.

You're just a sucker for British nerd raps, Brian.

Do cellphones crash Gizmodo? If not, something else is.

That was great.

"My name is Mercury, and I'm a thermometer-lover, and more than just my temperature is rising, if you know what I mean."

@Yeah!: There was. The prison was just recently updated. Though, it's only a matter of time.

@quesoesbueno59: Oh, well, yeah, that's definitely a good prize. Thanks, quesoesbueno, which, by the way, is a hilarious name.

@DaveExile: Yes, that makes much more sense, but, for comedy's sake, it's better if the prisoners were the ones with the iDevices.

@EnochLight: Did I win anything?

The walled environments of iPhones and iPads must have made the prisoners feel right at home.

@Y2KGTP: "We'll match any black-market price!"

I wonder if anyone of the prisoners had a jailbroken device.

Spaceman came across the galaxy,

@hostile-17: Unidentifiable, flying, and otherworldly?

@foffen: And it will be super ineffective. Anything that can space travel like that isn't going to go down easily. This is real life, not an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

When aliens come, we're going to know it. They won't even give us the decency of befriending us and making a holiday out of our new friendship, then rape, kill, enslave, and give us diseases. (I'm looking at you, Europeans.)

@GOD: Going in circles means you screwed up, but I won't argue with GOD.

@imaeffinginger: And five left turns mean you screwed up something.

@ant1pathy: And two left turns make a U-turn.