@putermcgee: Says who?

In Japan, the guy with an average-sized penis wins a different kind of contest.

I didn't know Sega was developing games for the Wee.

Apparently footsie is another toilet game they play in Japan. Those urinals are way too close.

@etodez: And it makes sense not to let those losers hurt your feelings. If, however, your feelings get hurt, you need to reevaluate your life because some internet troll's opinion shouldn't matter.

When your feelings get hurt because of the internet, it's time to reevaluate your life.

This reminded me of the article about the toolbox whose handle was a hammer.

@AlexJDA: I thought Moby Dick was only fiction.

I probably wouldn't eat it, but I'll help with the pumping.

@Go Vols!: Yes, but I have a good head on my shoulders.

@treesloth: When you're running a business, you can't lose your head. You have to stay calm and level-headed.

@BIGE1312: They'll make a killing on sales.

@Go Vols!: I bet the price is a killer.

That is hideous.

@vvaffle: I put on my tracksuit and wizard hat.

Is he a wizard?

@meatbag_pussrocket: In other related news: Global human app-downloading productivity has increased 700%.

@bazookafox, I'll kill a man for an Atrix.: I never had one.

Creativity and balls: This man has them.

If you hold down the Control and Option keys while emptying the trash from the dock, it does the same thing.