This sound like something a Ghost would say to throw us off. 

Pro Tip:

The clip is only 57 seconds long, but the ball’s recording device recorded 18 hours of static while it was in right field.

1) Saruman and 2) too soon

Who burned down your Shire? Sheesh.

Bless your heart.

Now he has to marry his mother in law

This picture does not show that both these racist assholes aren’t wearing pants.

the craft industry lost me by all going to one type of beer

It took me 6 hours to figure out what this meant.  And now I feel like an idiot.

1) Illegal Immigration is a civil crime, not a federal one. You aren’t a criminal because you got a speeding ticket.

“How dare you sit there and blame white people for the problems of the minority communities. After all, aren’t you half white? Didn’t two white parents adopt you, after yours weren’t willing to raise you?!”

If planning and executing a week of flavorful, healthy meals makes one an Adequate Man, I’m obviously floundering somewhere between dust bunny and weaponized fuck up on the male adequacy scale.

Hope for humanity does exist, well how about that. I owe somebody some money.

No. She’s still in Kentucky

That’s Hardy Harbaugh, formerly known as The Family Secret.

That’s a plunkin’

Came to see a rabid bat attack Will Middlebrooks, leaving disappointed.

Late Night Show Hosts Ranked.

Great contribution, moron.