Scopolamine doping is apparently not unheard of 

Mr. Ped 

Who says pitchers can’t hit?

Man Injures Throwing Hand Throwing Hands.

Since 1 WAR is worth about 8 million dollars, and he’s at 3.6 WAR for the year making 25 million, he has outperformed year 1 of his contract in only five months.

This read like a article in an anthropological journal about some uncontacted tribe in the Amazon. 

Gareon, my Raidered son
You’ll be kneed when you are down
Lay your weary head to rest
You’re going on I.R.

Khabib Nurmagomedov’s “This is number one bullshit!” is my favorite version of this ever. As a native English speaker I try to work it in where I can.

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

They should have told the Kent State administration to fuck off and kept playing. I mean, what are they gonna do about it, call in the National Guard?

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

“Yea, but he can he do it on a rainy Tuesday night in Kansas City?”

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

“Sir, this is an empty room”

Eduardo Hochulinho

During the stoppage, Mokhtari asked the Nancy players to instruct the fans to stop.

Jesus Christ, Laura! The body isn’t even cold yet!

Bright, guys. 

Rather obscure jam band joke did not go unnoticed here. (The joke is obscure, not the band.)

how many times has Ovechkin, parked in the left circle, yelled at him “bitch, set me up?”