He had a dong in the nineties...

Wow. I always thought she had good comedic timing, but this is the most boring prank ever.

I think that's just a pimple.

Well no. I wasn't trying to say that you were a bad person or that your anger isn't unfounded (I wasn't aware that you had traveled outside the US). And I'm not about to argue what is or isn't racism (had to many of those arguments and quite frankly they tend to go back and forth with neither side gaining any incite).

Just out of curiosity, in this (final) solution of yours, what happens to the kids who are mixed race? Do they lose half of their family because their mother or father happens to be white, or does the whole family have to go since they're all technically either white people or their loved ones? Do my friend and her…

"Well, he was wearing a white shirt." Also, cool move mentioning the shoplifting. I didn't know that shoplifting was now punishable by death. Best warn 99.99% of all teenagers and children!!! Jk, just the ones that aren't white. Holy fuck.

His statement that Wilson "followed training and the law" is really creepy. It's like he's admitting that they train police to shoot unarmed black people.

Are YOU going to be the instructor who says "Sorry, Vlad, you fail. Your flying sidekick was a little too sloppy. Better luck next time."

The difference is that our entire culture doesn't trivialize murder. We aren't content to allow 97% of murderers walk free. No one blames murder victims for being murdered. No one expects murder victims to prevent their own murder. 20% of people aren't murdered; it's not something we live in constant fear of having…

Perhaps the worst one ever was the one in Showgirls. Male directors make things really cringe-inducingly stupid. They're all about bloody-murder screaming and vaginal tears.

I just want to know who sits in a brainstorming meeting and says, "I got it, let show someone being raped and write the word "rape" on a bunch of balloons!" and everyone else in the room is like "OMG that is great!"

He is stretching it so that I will fit in it with him.

That book is so unrealistic. In real life, Barbie did all the coding while Steve and Brian got all pissy about a girl trying to steal their jobs. In retaliation they published Barbie and Skipper's address and phone number on the internet and posted death threats on their Facebook. Then they scrawled "fag" on Ken's car…

Between Mama June and Cosby the big celebrity scandals are too fucking real and depressing right now. I want a juicy but lighthearted celebrity scandal! Here are some suggestions:

Dickinson is the 15th woman to come forward with rape allegations against the comedian.

So long as the nipple isn't connected to the rest of her mopey "It sucks being famous, man!" self, it should do fine. Maybe it could get it's own gig! Like a spinoff or something!

Completely. They almost made him too real. He shames Esmeralda for being pretty and desirable, and tries to kill her under the pretense of law and piety when she rejects him. He's awful, but they worst part is that he's Real Life Rapist awful and not just a shallow Disney character.

I have a full routine prepared for singing Poor Unfortunate Souls that involves me being reluctantly pulled up on stage and then transforming into character. I've worked the whole thing out in my shower, where I perform it regularly. It's so good (the song. I suspect the routine is good only in my mind).

No, why would they? Chris and Bob are men and men are allowed to have opinions that run counter to other mens' opinions. Women, not so much.

Are these supposed to be examples of the death threat tweets? Because they're death threats in the same way that saying "go fuck yourself" is a rape threat.