Good. Stay out.

I was 100% with you until the casual homophobia. No stars for you.

No, I’m afraid this isn’t new. I had a coworker use this one maybe 20 years ago when we were heading to lunch. “Let’s go to the other place. This place is really... Canadian (with an eyebrow raise) today.” I was like, “Wut?” She later explained it to me in a way that made me think she expected me to sign off on…

Have you looked into being less stupid?

Hoo-ha

Are you, by any chance, an upper middle class white person?

Oh, they’re joking. Of course. That’s hilarious!

So, when they say clever things like “gas the kikes” what EXACTLY do they mean?

Look, I’m not proud of it.

I can’t defend this position, but I swear to god I would bang him so hard. My danger zone responds very strongly to terrible, terrible people.

CHIR-ch’m

Mini-pie? WTF is that, even? I mean, you know they come as WHOLE pies, right? As a matter of fact, I am irritated that my husband is not diabetic right now, because I would love to have an excuse to eat an entire fucking pumpkin pie by myself.

For the same reason nobody is saying anything about you being a total asshole. (Not our circus, not our monkeys.)

Like, all the time.

I blame the cracker babies.

Yeah, no. I don’t think I’m going to see it. It looks like hot garbage juice. DC just can’t make a good movie. (And no, Wonder Woman wasn’t THAT good.)

How the fuck does this only have 8 stars so far today?

And chicken thighs? They may not be red meat, but they’re definitely not white meat.

Maybe it’s some sort of inclusion thing? Like People felt bad for people who aren’t particularly charming or attractive, so they threw them a bone and made the human equivalent of a pee stain on a pair of ratty tighty whiteys into the Sexiest Person?

Maybe you should start using an asterisk, or something, so that people know when you’re being “funny”.