This has got to be the most meatless beef of all time.

Yeah, I made it 16 seconds in and was like, “Nope. Hate you.”

You know they don’t actually HAVE to go see him, right?

That’s like one step down from carnies!

Yeah, I totally hate it when they spin stuff by using the exact words that he said...

Please. Donald watches so much porn. Believe me. So much. The most porn. He’s seen all the dicks.

Uh, duh.

Why do you think he wouldn’t shake Merkel’s hand?

There’s a word for it. “Fuckability”.

I got all excited, but then saw that they won’t ship to California. This seems counter intuitive to me.

This has not been my experience. It actually sounds like something out of an after school special.

CAN YOU REALLY DO THAT?!

#sponcon #yawncon

That’s the problem, she always seems to think she’s the victim. I don’t think it’s ever occurred to her that she’s complicit kind of an asshole.

I agree that this is the lamest beef in history. (It’s less “beef” and more “Tofurkey”.) I have no dog, (or tofu,) in this fight.

God, I hope she’s not pregnant. Fetal alcohol syndrome is terrible.

Yeah, I know this one. The technical term for it is either “hammered” or “No, honey. Mommy’sh fine. I’m just shleepy. Be an anjzhul an’ get Mommy her juice...”

Watching this, it’s so weird that they weren’t able to make it work.

Like the lives of ballet dancers aren’t hard enough already?