100% would bang gay warthog Seth Rogen.

If you have to be told to keep your drugs away from children, maybe drugs are not for you.

Or, I could also... not.

Oh, honey. Are you OK? Do you need a sweater? It looks cold over there, (in the shade.)

Will not watch this abomination. Would still bang Paul. Am not proud.

I realize that you probably think you’re helping, but please stop helping.

Just because you’ve never noticed something doesn’t mean that it hasn’t existed for the entire time you weren’t noticing it.

Have you never been outside before, or are you just being a dick?

To be fair, I think you’re only seeing half of the point. We also need to make sure that ladies are punished for having sex.

Too bad it wasn’t his mother...

Really?! I stopped shopping there a few years ago because their men’s stuff was so garbage. Not only the quality of the materials, but the construction is bad and, my personal pet peeve, all of a sudden, their dress shirts were all about two inches shorter, so that they don’t stay tucked in. That shit makes me RAGE.

No, it’s just a read.

In fairness, it looks like she’s only riding it around the kitchen, so maybe it’s cool?

I pee in the shower and don’t wash my legs, but if I didn’t wash my feet I’m pretty sure they would rot right off my body.

Why would I eat a gay toilet seat?

OK, cool. You’re not invited to my birthday, but I’ll send you a link to where you can donate money for my vacation.

Because the idea is that you are hosting a celebration and that the gifts are part of the celebration. The gifts are not some sort of reward for checking off the “got married” box. Asking for gifts for a celebration that the giver was not a part of is tacky.

So the honeyfund is not any more tacky that a gift registry. That said, eloping and registering for gifts, (of any variety,) is tacky as fuck.

Wait. “No make-up” doesn’t mean “no make-up”?

I suggest you start with English, there, buddy.