I meant to celebrate Pie for Breakfast Day, but my son beat me there. None for me. Boo hoo!

Guy Fieri is the result of some mad scientist’s experiment to make a herpes sore sentient.

I’ll tell my son about this one. He’ll probably do it.

I’m fine with mayo, in small amounts. But the thought of eating it straight makes me gag, so I can’t imagine eating it that way. I really do not know what that woman thought she was about to eat.

Once, during a Seder (Passover first-night meal) I attended, a new convert to Judaism mistook a a bowl of prepared white horseradish (grated, in vinegar, and always at the Seder table) for whipped cream or mayo, and popped a tablespoon of it into her mouth. Surprise! That stuff can strip paint (although the version…

Of course I’ve overreacted, at times. That said,I never did it publicly nor in a manner that could lead to being sued for libel.

Her comments went from indignant to libelous very quickly. I’m not sure why she felt the need to embellish like that.

Hey, you stole my costume! And it was the role I was born to play!

There’s this place called a sporting goods store. if you can afford a ticket to a game, you can afford to buy a puck of your very own. Seriously, if you’re excited to get a piece of vulcanized rubber just because it was on a professional ice rink, you really aren’t much of an adult.

I think it’s sweet she thinks she understands another country because she’s standing on the balcony of a foreign-owned five star hotel and putting on a headscarf.

It is now one of my favorite sites, too. Thanks.

Please do not overlook our very large spiders, feral hogs, alligators, and leprosy-carrying armadillos. Also, our horned frogs shoot blood from their eyes.

Sometimes I’m happy I find single-digit adding and subtracting a challenge.

Regarding the staffing, I have seen grocery store (and Target) Starbucks that are very clearly branded as such and may have Starbucks employees in them. On the other hand, I have seen grocery coffee shops like the one I visit: employees definitely work for the grocery (they will tell you if you ask), and the SB…

I appreciate you writing that. However, given the history of the Jews, I would prefer we not give people any ammunition. Not everyone is as clear-headed as you about these things.

regarding the table cleaning, this was a Starbucks in a grocery store. The employees were not Starbucks employees but grocery employees. Their job is to sling coffee and that’s about it.

Good to hear. I know some tax attorneys. Oh, the fun of being on lock-down from late December through April 16.

My sister deserves a brief mention in this list. After college, she moved from tiny-town Indiana to a major US city. She thinks this transition has made her the queen of urban, white-girl chic, and she actually says crap like “I’m a city girl.”

The fun thing about office work is that the likelihood of a complete toddler-style meltdown actually increases with the rank of the person involved.

If I had to do tax accounting, I’d cry in the restroom, too.