Read the story? Hell I’d watch that movie. We’ve got the beginnings of a budding romantic comedy here! I can see it now....

I would read that story.

If anyone’s ever ridden dinky on the back of a buddy’s Grom, please recount the experience in the comments.

“Well, you can’t just lock up all of them. It would be too obvious.” - Ferguson Police Department

I bet every time they bring out the contract, Von sneaks around and pokes it out of their hands.

It is the emoji people use to signify a phallus.

Guys, come on. How many TG stories is this now in the last 24 hours, eight? Nine?

Well, yeah.

I feel like these are best at 3 AM when you can ride your car pantless and there is nobody on the road.

This is tricky, because too cold can be as unpleasant as too warm. But for the most part, I think an adjustable vent in the crotchular region would be universally loved.

*Boop*

Come on, there’s not a single bit of innocent bystander smeared across the hood…

“Hold my beer. Squatch this.”

Like most of us, you live at least 300 miles away from Heaven.

Bring on the 1.21 gigawatts.

Unpopular opinion:

Chords

OLD WHITE MAN STUCK IN PAST MAKES POOR DECISION

You better have a car faster than an accord

It is very easy for them to do so.. I came back to the local dealership with a fifth of Jameson 18 year limited, sat it on the counter of the service department and said...” It would be a shame if this bottle disappeared and was replaced with a service record printout.”