Sick mom burns are the best. My mom would get a good one in then a few days later you’d get a voicemail with just the sound of her laughing because she was re-living the sick burn.

I actually think this is ok. I knew a couple who both were the only child. When they had their first baby, the helicopter grandparents swooped in. They were knee deep in toys, clothes, the wrong kind of diapers, the wrong formula, sweatshop baby clothes and competitive grandparenting. When the baby was about three…

I'm sensitive to scented products — even the ones that claim to be I scented. I've found that plain water in a spray bottle releases wrinkles just as well. And for odor, about a quarter cup of plain old rubbing alcohol mixed with a cup of water in a spray bottle.

CORNWALL.

Yeah. Tripping through small town America just ain't the same experience for black folks. Every time we stopped somewhere to eat or rest, the local police showed up soon after. It was pretty damn scary. The looks. The poor service. Being ignored at roadside museums and such. After getting pulled over by the cops…

Nope. It will be awesome. Your dad will be along for the ride. Do you have a dog? If not, borrow one. This is a trip to take with a dog and the ghost of your old man.

This is my favorite post, ever.

Join a fandom. A Trekkie is never alone. Instant family of multi millions. Seriously.

Can you take a leave of absence for a year to see if you like the fellowship? Can you do both? Cut back on the fabulous life for a few years and do the fellowship? Let me tell you, the academy ain't what it's cracked up to be. You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany. Can you study in your field,…

Can you take a leave of absence for a year to see if you like the fellowship? Can you do both? Cut back on the fabulous life for a few years and do the fellowship? Let me tell you, the academy ain't what it's cracked up to be. You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany. Can you study in your field,…

Two things that I learned today: There's such a thing as a Department of Superstructures and a thing called a cesium-vapor magnetometer.

Nice try, Officer Ross.

He had pussy breath when he kissed me one day.

THAT FACE HAS KILLED ME!!

How much do you drink?

I had two boyfriends once. My mom was just relieved that I wasn't a lesbian since I had stopped shaving my armpits and started shaving my tinky.

aliexpress.com is wonderfully insane. Or really awful.

Tell him in front of the stepmom. Your parents used to be married. That's just a fact.

You're supposed to keep your booty call bag in your car, not your closet!

Your second line made me lol. Now my dog is looking at me funny. I wish I had a parrot. Every schmoe has a dog.