I think the go-to in this situation now is Christopher Plummer. Can he sing?

Mystique was a weird case even before Lawrence blew up - making her and Xavier practically siblings felt like a Hail Mary, “this ain’t your momma’s X-Men” kind of thing. Like, if First Class had been a bigger hit and the series could have developed in its own direction from there, it could have been more coherent. But…

What are the odds all the reshoots on this movie happened so Fox could re-release it after it tanks with Deadpool CGI’ed into it?

Fred Hembeck should be the guy doing all the pointless cameos in the MCU now that Stan’s gone.

My favorite genre of these is “I do not by any means support Donald Trump or his policies but here’s a whole paragraph where I sound exactly like him YOU FUCK P.S. your wife is ugly”

Boy, imagine being from Store-Brand France and trying to feel superior to anyone.

I consider myself a generous tipper, but fuck any business that counts on my generosity to weasel out of paying a decent wage.

No commemorative coin this time?

They saw staff preparing a salad bar and got the fuck out.

YEA-UH!

Likewise, the only place “turn-and-click stereotypic device” should ever appear is on a patent document. Good lord do marketing people disappear up their own asses.

How much horseshit could we have avoided if this guy had just gotten his fucking football team to run into the ground?

This fucking twerp.

When I was a kid I loved “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” to the point where I became angry when “Coming to America” knocked it out of the top spot in the box office. That was an idiotic thing for even a nine-year-old to walk around thinking, and it terrifies me that there are people out there DRIVING! CARS! who apparently…

So odd that people who claim to be shitty “for the lulz” don’t seem to spend much of their time actually “lulzing.” One might assume they’re actually quite sincere about being miserable assholes.

Johnny Knoxville is obviously some kind of Cenobite, drawn here from another plane of existence to goad skaters into ingesting hot sauce rectally or whatever.

“Phew!”

Everything is okay if it irritates an imaginary college professor somewhere.

If you ask me, this whole Defenders thing was doomed from the start because they didn’t hew close enough to the original source material. How is anyone supposed to take the Defenders seriously without iconic characters like Nighthawk? Hellcat? Moondragon? Gargoyle? Devil-Slayer? Dollar Bill? THE ELF WITH A GUN?!?…

NO. Get the FUCK out of here with this, world. Fuck you for even suggesting it.