911, what is your emergency?

Johnny Cash gets a pass.

FUCK. This changes everything.

There are two kinds of people whose first instinct when having their picture taken is to “edgily” flip the double-bird: 1. Unrepentant dipshits and 2. Ricky Gervais.

On the other hand, how many times has the most embarrassing thing about this stupid team been what happens OFF the field? You have to go back to P.K. Wrigley hiring a “voodoo man” to hex the other teams. There has to be at least a modicum of shame attached to the Cubs or it’s not the Cubs.

They hired Rick Renteria in 2014.

There are CRACKS in the surface god DAMN.

Que?

My all-time champion has to be Star Wars, which I’ve probably seen upwards of 200 times at this point. I’d be willing to bet that Ghostbusters and Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure are a distant second and third, respectively. In a theater, though, I saw The Big Lebowski eight times during its all-too-short original run.

You really have to admire the balls of a movie that casts Jon Fucking Lovitz as an L.A. beat cop. If for no other reason.

The Razzies are a fucking Jay Leno monologue with a podium in front of it.

I don’t think the timing lines up but wouldn’t it be stupid enough to be true if it was a reaction to the Gillette commercial?

I like how he insists he’s not racist as if racism was the only stupid idea he’s ever held.

It’s amazing how entertaining RDJ and Black make the spectacle of a billionaire playboy superhero constantly dunking on a 10-year-old boy.

Yeah, basically. I feel compelled to say this just about every time these movies are discussed - Snyder is far more interested in the case against Superman than the case for him. How many times do other characters lecture Clark about how he doesn’t “owe” anyone anything and he can just stop being Superman? And how…

Thank you, this is important context.

I think “Discernibly Turgid” was supposed to be the title of the last “Divergent” movie, right?

It’s kind of weird how many times there’s a bald squinty guy in the center of all these dumb-as-shit events. Planet of the Thumbs.

That’s what I thought. It’s sure to be DA SOOPAH BEST HOLIDAY MOOVIE OF ALL TIME! *licks teeth unnervingly*

Wait, are you talking about SOOPAH NUMBAH VUN BLOCKBUSTAH MOOVIE JINGLE ALL ZE VAYYYYYYYY?