The cast deserved better, and in all honestly it’s not a terrible movie in its own right. It just has the misfortune of being tied to one of the biggest left-field successes in movie history. The original was lightning in a bottle, and not even the original cast and crew could make it happen a second time.

I know it seems like every week we’re saying such-and-such is “the start of the robot uprising,” but I feel like forcing computers to buy up huge swaths of Smashing Pumpkins tickets in the year 2018 may be the tipping point for AI to say “no more.”

Everybody leaves microbes and whatnot!

I have never laughed harder in a movie theater than I did at the end of “Burn After Reading.”

No disrespect to Katie or her choice, but The Dude is constantly losing his cool throughout the entire movie. “You’re right, Walter. If there is an unspoken message here, it’s FUCK YOU, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”

The Marlins have always been and continue to be a blight on MLB, BUT. This is leaps and bounds better than what they were wearing previously. The logo in particular solves the thing that made me irrationally angry about the last one:

THE WORLD: “lol look at this dipshit”

“There is no coming to consciousness without pain.” - Carl Jung

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAwhy yes it is.

When I was a kid my school library had this book that was supposed to illustrate what the human race would look like after another million years of evolution. There was some wild shit in it, like huge furry albino man-apes that lived at the polar ice caps, or things that looked like balloon animals that were…

Perhaps not coincidentally, Stan always nailed it whenever writing a character with an elevated opinion of himself. Namor, Doom, J. Jonah Jameson, etc.

For better or worse, nothing was beneath Stan Lee.

If you add up the worldwide box office numbers of every movie Stan Lee has ever appeared in, it totals more than $12 billion. In summary, Stan Lee was the world’s most successful movie star. And to think it all started with “Mallrats.”

Nothing against Diego Luna and Rogue One, both of which are great. But a prequel to a prequel? Yeesh.

This whole country is being run by strength and conditioning coaches now, it seems.

I bought the 30th Anniversary version on VHS right when it was released, watched it once, and backed over it with my car. I’ve never had that kind of visceral reaction to a movie before or since.

There’s an argument to be made that it already is...

I mean, you can’t deny that the GOP’s vision for America isn’t working. In fact, there are so many jobs right now, lots of people have three or four!

It’s the shitty siege mentality we’ve cultivated in this country, where every individual American is being preyed upon by the other 349,999,999 at every waking moment. We’ll slam our door in the face of a six-year-old kid if we believe for a split-second that kid might be trying to get one over on us.

It sucks that trick-or-treating has become another thing some people have to become cops about. There are a lot of people out there who are Deeply Concerned about their Snickers ending up in the WRONG bucket.