The climax of the movie is the emotionally-charged moment when Batman realizes that they’re actually called “Martha Boxes,” and I’ll just show myself out thanks

“Not everyone is a winner,” say the people who insist that they’re always winning even when they’re obviously not.

And of course, posting snotty memes addressed to strawmen on Twitter dot com is free.

Boy, wait until that guy mad about “government-funded universities” finds out who’s been bankrolling the troops!

It was just as inspiring as the weekend last year when Rogue One opened to empty theaters after word got out that Ben Mehndelson’s Imperial administrator character was named “D’nhald Trummpf.” I believe the deathblow came when alt-right commentators accurately reported the scene in which Felicity Jones’ character…

I should be surprised that hoping for prison rape has somehow become a boring and predictable take, but here we are. Great Job, Internet!

(puts on even bigger nerd glasses)

I will not be happy until Mark Strong plays the entire Legion of Doom. And I know Sivana wasn’t in the Legion of Doom, but he’s basically the K-Mart Lex Luthor so it counts.

When you can’t even get through the first two words on the movie’s poster without giggling, that’s not good news for a serious murder mystery. “Mister police...” get the fuck out of here.

Back-to-back-to-back, even. It’s easy to forget about 2015 given how similarly they flamed out against the Mets’ staff, but reaching the NLCS three years in a row is something a lot of teams would kill for. I wish they were putting up more of a fight, but it’s the nature of baseball that all of a team’s strengths can…

I mean, if you’d rather sit through “The Ewok Adventure” than “The Force Awakens,” that’s fine. Everyone’s got their own thing. But let’s not act like Disney’s “brand extension” approach is somehow less appropriate for Star Wars than, say, giving Bruce Villanch and Harvey Korman two hours of time to make their stamp…

The bump stock facet of this discussion has only gained traction, I think, because it’s the first time in one of these mass-shooting events where the NRA has hinted that it maybe kinda sorta possibly is open to the idea of beginning to think about perhaps potentially be mildly okay with some kind of lukewarm…

Lars Von Trier! I knew it was him! Even when it was the bears, I knew it was him!

“Thanks.”

Luke wins because he gets through to Vader. Vader believed that he was stuck on the “dark side” because of all the terrible things he did. Obi-Wan and Yoda thought so, too, because they wouldn’t let Luke consider doing anything other than killing Vader. By refusing to play the “light side/dark side” game with…

For real - it doesn’t seem to me like many people understand that Luke Skywalker is the hero of Star Wars because he chucked all that “light side/dark side” stuff out the window purposefully. I have a feeling The Last Jedi is going to reveal that Luke fucked everything up by trying to go back to the dogmatic…

Other people have touched on it, but there isn’t just one problem facing the comic book industry today and there isn’t one cure-all strategy that will bring it back from the brink. The industry started painting itself into a corner as far back as the early 70s, when fans like Roy Thomas and John Byrne became pros.…

There’s a practical reason to own a Corvette, though. Even if you’re not taking it to a track to open it up and do 120, you can still use it to get to work and pick up groceries and whatever. If the only way you can legally use an assault rifle is to take it to a special place and shoot at things that don’t need to be…

Serious question: Is that it?

There is a kernel of a good idea in Man of Steel, one that most versions of Superman don’t really deal with - the idea of how much of himself Clark Kent is willing to give the rest of the world. If the only limitations Superman has are the ones he puts on himself, is it right for him to pretend to be normal sometimes?…