I bet he tried to honk the horn on the steering wheel.

I live on the wrong coast, so I bought my Team Dresch ticket within minutes of them going on sale for the eastern tour.  My pants are already wet.

When I covertly turn on the passenger seat heater, they start to wonder if they peed themselves.

Sylvain Sylvain is quite a doll.

It was Nirvana’s van.

It’s nice to know you can get empanadas at the Model UN.

That “g” tends to get lost for me.

Because this is Jezzy, I thought it was going to be some sort of racist artifact scissors and not corporate asshattery.

I like how they have egg cups instead of wing mirrors.  Or are those spot lots?

It’s a bit of a fallacy that food is inexpensive at Job Lot. In many cases, a regular grocery store has cheaper prices on breakfast cereal, sweets and the like.

He does, however, have enough money to have his name on his shirt.

I think we’re still busy discussing the BM lines.

CP

Before the EPA was given more authority, it was more common to have portable toilets that were essentially saltwater aquariums, with hunks of living coral, sea cucumbers, cleaner shrimp and moray eels.  Unfortunately, due to environmental regulations in the late 1970s, these were phased out in favor of something that…

Wow. 

Yeah, but it still works here on “The Onion” . . .wait. . .this isn’t “The Onion?”

I like how it doesn’t have that child-and-grandma-killing front hood like their pickup trucks.

You’d never be able to sell an El Camino in trump counties.

Cut lass?  Cutl ass?  Cuddle ass?

Those bottles on top don’t say MISO, do they?  That would be one robust wake up.