DING DING DING!

That was exactly the conclusion I came to, and it grossed me out. And that was also the last time I spoke to him.

I actually had a dude try that ultimatum with me once. If I didn’t get rid of all my pubic hair right then (at midnight! on a weeknight! and I had a high-pressure job requiring sleep!), we wouldn’t have sex. He was real confused when I was like, “Okay.” And went to sleep.

DING DING DING This right here! Let those lazy asses only get together every other year so we can spend the rest of the time fighting whatever dumb shit they pooped out during their few days of work!

SO BAD! His whole schtick is based on him being an unprofessional actor (breaking character can be funny but shouldn’t happen constantly). I automatically discount the opinion of anybody who tells me they think Fallon is funny.

Same. I also thought Silicon Valley was pretty weak this season, especially the ending.

Because the Emmys (like the Oscars) are actually a popularity contest entirely based on heresay. The nominators/voters don’t actually watch the shows, they just go by what their assistants and family are buzzing about these days.

ME TOO! Why do we love them so much?

Aw, dang, you did! Great minds :D

YEEEOOOW!

Hey, can you ask Brock to come by my place sometime? I need some...uh...cable repairs.

This was wonderful to read. Wonderful and incredibly depressing.

HERO. Magnificent! I’m so proud of 14 year old you.

Yeah, and what’s the allowance he’s referring to? $5 a week?

I don’t blame you! I’m 40 and have noticed some sparkly white hairs hiding amongst the blonde-ish roots, but just can’t bring myself to give up the red. Stay strong! Stay fake red forever! :)

Me too! I will be that little old lady with red, red hair and red, red, ultra red lipstick.

Dye it, girl! I’ve been dying my blonde hair red for years and it works SO WELL. I have no doubt you can rock the hell out of some red. :D

Me too! I’ve dyed my boring-ass dishwater blonde hair red for 24 years now and have loved every minute of it.

I think it’s pretty easy to figure out why—they got theirs. Everybody else can just fuck right off.

...that’s a pretty comprehensive list, actually.