An Austin cop rushed a woman for jaywalking as she was jogging near campus. They full-on took her down for doing something literally thousands of students do every day. It was alarming. Then police chief Art Acevedo said this:

I wish I had a million billion stars to give you for this, but I will settle for borrowing that line and propagating it amongst the stoned masses. (hope that’s cool)

I think that’s how it was meant, too. But it does sound awfully close to a threat to ruin his career if she keeps on.

Did you also notice he said this?

I’ve been a broke-ass bridesmaid several times, could barely afford the flight and dress to be there in the wedding. And I’ll say this—I wrote a really nice, heartfelt letter to them and put it in a card, and they all loved it. You could always promise them something in the future, or make something, if you’re handy.…

Me too, both things! I also rely on the boobs to distract from the other...problem areas. This happened at a time when I was sitting, unfortunately. Sitting tends to negate the boob-distractors. I also have 1-4 thin hairs on the other toes, too. Stupid hair growth.

Fine, blonde, sparkly hair on my arms, HORRIBLE HOBBIT HAIR knees down. Why, genes? Why?

I think we have similar hair growth! Tell me, do you also get hair on your toe-knuckles? That people then sometimes notice and point out loudly at a party that time? Sigh. Man, it’s tough to be a lady.

And you can never pluck it out with your fingers, either. :(

Agreed! Why are the ankle ones so bad? I agonized about one inch long dark bastard on my ankle yesterday at a party for hours after noticing I’d missed it. My head-hair is blonde, btw.

Me too! And I absolutely REFUSE to shave above the knee. Too much work for all that mess. I’ll just keep my upper legs sparkly and try to always double check the ankles because for some reason the hairs morph into GIANT THICK BLACK OGRE HAIR between knee and toe.

Awesome, thanks! I think I’m gonna try it.

I was just about to ask: what is the point of cold cream? I’m 37, so I reckon we’re in the same-ish boat.

Hey! I know that guy! He’s very, very, very tall.

Well that’s just mean.

That was the most beautiful thing I have ever read in my entire life.

Yes! All the Swayze in the world! I think I need to re-re-re-re-re-re-re-watch Road House this weekend.

MOAR SWAYZE!

God, he really is great on NNF. One of my favorite serial guests, right behind Jon Hamm.

Not a dance, but every middle (and high) school-aged time at the roller rink. “Awwwright now it’s time for the COUPLES SKATE! Everybody hold hands and skate! If you’re not holding hands you can’t be on the rink!”