Wonderfully written, Clover. You rock!

“What you are experiencing is called a teachable moment. It is called a gift. It is called a humbling. It is called Jesus, I come to thee. It is called an awakening. It is called a growth edge. It is called hope.

“Healthy Request”

Ted, or at the very least his legal team, has argued that touching your junk for anything besides reproduction isn’t a right under the constitution

Bless the person who diligently watches the “likes” column on Ted Cruz’s twitter 24/7

FTFY

HAHAHAHAHAHA

So, this has nothing to do with anything in DB (apologies in advance), but...I’m quitting drinking. I’ve been thinking about it for a few years, and it’s finally time to pull the plug on it. Nothing crazy has happened, but I’m just tired of my energy being sapped constantly, of bruising too easily, and of not being…

Who was her handy man?

After some discussion with two besties, we have concluded Beyonce’s children will be named

 “I don’t know what the fuck we talk about!“

Taylor & Joe look like bored trust-fund siblings whose only source of joy comes from hunting the poor on Purge day.

CAITLYN JENNER NEEDS TO GO AWAY.

I smoked weed the entire month of April so I got Miley covered.

Here’s Pitt on whether he’s going through a mid-life crisis:

I was going to order a pizza tonight and now I guess I’ll just starve so thanks.

a friend of mine had to collect all the scraps of the taxi she was born in and reassemble it in order to get her name changed. True story.

That worked out well for Chris Gaines.

So I can keep not drinking Pepsi?