I am going to keep this one short and sweet.

I was there, the prompters were off. Stewart didn’t know he was gonna do that.

No but like, for real. How can you watch this and not drink.

I’d dread him bringing sub platters to every goddamned holiday meal.

He has made a career out of being an unfunny jerk.

I feel like as a liberal, I’m supposed to like Bill Maher, and I just don’t. He has some opinions that I agree with, and he says some funny things sometimes, but he’s so self-righteous and seems utterly unwilling to listen to anybody besides himself - even other liberals. No thanks.

If there was documented evidence (which there isn’t and never will be) saying that the polio vaccine would increase the chances for allergies or ADD in children (which it doesn’t) I would still be first in line to have my daughter vaccinated. Because you know what’s worse than allergies or ADD? POLIO!

in the last one, the 49ers are science.

While no scientific studies have clearly shown a link between vaccines and autism, I’m definitely seeing one between Scientology and anti-vaxxer lunacy.

Bill Maher irritates the fuck out of me. Him being an anti-vaxxer just makes it worse.

Obligatory:

White people acoustic covers of trendy rap songs is worse than ISIS.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

It feels very reminiscient of the National Enquirer and the John Edwards debacle.

Can I just say... it’s like 2 weeks later, and I’m still shocked that it’s InTouch carrying the journalistic water here. But good for them, for real. I know it’s kind of backhanded to say it that way, but I don’t know how to give them a compliment for the truly great work they’re doing here without it sounding…

“sometimes I take a poop in my hand and then eat it”

He has a face that looks like the result of Gary Shandling mating with a pig.

Nope. Best practices for suicide reporting recommend not using “committed,” which sounds like a crime or, to religious communities, like a sin, and “kill yourself” is just insensitive, crude, and poorly phrased. “Died by suicide” is the phrasing recommended by mental health professionals and the American Foundation…

THIS. I’m 5’8” and 150lbs with a pretty hourglassy shape. Yet I have this constant low rumble of discontent running through my brain about it, like the mental equivalent of a bored dickhead teenager picking at a loose thread on his sweater until he’s utterly destroyed the whole thing. I look good, thin even, my blood…

I’m actually so happy she gave a specific number for how much she weights. I know the number isn’t supposed to matter, and two people who weigh the same thing can look very different, but I feel like I’m constantly hearing about women who weigh 135 and want to lose 5 or 10 more lbs and it makes me sick. I just saw Amy…