"BOOMSHAKALAKA!"

I cannot be the only man to shed a tear today. We lost a good one today.

[guy has never seen UFC before]

When FSU got down early, my brother, who was rooting for FSU, said Jameis Winston had the Ducks right where he wanted them.

Here at Deadspin we generally assume that our readers are at least somewhat intelligent people. A lot of other sites dumb down content or write for an audience of morons: we don't do that. But because we've gotten at least one dumbass e-mail, and some dumbass comments and tweets, I'm going to explain why what Ed…

He likes turtles

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It's ironic that you want to put him in jail for a long time, yet you have difficulty with long sentences.

And also Mule Variations by Tom Waits, excellent drinking music.