Nah, it’s more fun to watch you get your knickers twisted in a judgey, name-calling knot. You be you, sweetheart.

See, this right here is how to do blunt advice without doubling down on the finger-pointing.

Everyone here is telling her to do exactly that, but with compassion. It’s possible to tell someone they’re making a mistake without calling them names.

Not nice. She came here for help, not to be kicked when she’s down.

Ah, Tinder. Never have, never will, and not just because I’d fail miserably. Not long ago I was on a crowded bus at rush hour, a rainy day. A very handsome young gentleman in a sharp suit sat down in the seat across the aisle from me, got out his phone, opened Tinder, and started browsing. It was like watching someone…

I hope you’re wrong, because it’s awful, but will mourn with you if you’re right. Very well said.

No. My point is that you seemed to suggest that he always was, which I doubt, and you were additionally smarmy in your comment, which was unnecessary.

This discussion gets aired out every now and again on Jezebel- which well it should, given that some folks still need to be told what not to flush. One commenter on a previous go-round actually said that she didn’t care and flushed menstrual products all the damn time in her rental home, but OF COURSE would stop doing…

You’ve missed my point entirely. I’m just not up to explaining it again. Will just say that I agree with you- it was not okay for him to verbally abuse a co-worker. It’s never okay. But I don’t believe that’s what he did every time. (He’s still shitty, though.)

Your smarmy eyeroll aside: I am not defending the heinous acts he perpetrated on the women who have spoken up. But, do you actually mean to imply that he *always* whispered humiliating insults into his co-stars’ ears, in order to get instant smiles and laughter? If so (which I highly doubt) either those actresses had…

Nobody was calling Stoya sex-negative or commenting on her plight.

Co-signed.

So what’s your stance on Jewish people who get off on pretending to be dominated by Nazis, or black people consensually acting out the receiving end of a master and slave scenario? Because that actually happens. Should these people be shamed for their kinks?

Once again, I am wondering if we’ve seen the same videos. I absolutely disagree that Deen’s work is marketed to men exclusively. One reason he’s so popular among female consumers is that his performance very specifically caters to the female gaze; that’s why he’s one of the vanishingly tiny minority of straight male…

Have you watched any of his videos? The rough-sex, rape fantasy ones begin with Deen and his female co-star doing a scene negotiation, and after the scene, there’s a filmed debrief. I don’t know how it could be made any more clear that both parties are not *actually* being raped and that consent is being respected.

I was in the audience at TIFF when the film had its second premiere. It brought the house down. When Tom Hooper came onstage, he received a thunderous ovation that moved him to tears.

WHAT?? No more Kitchenette? But I loved it! So did a loyal band of commenters! We had our own jokes and culture! Goddamn it. *sulks hard*

TRUTH.

I’ll be honest. I’ve been critically ill for a long time. It gets really freakishly difficult, and it’s exhausting in ways that can’t be explained unless you’ve been chronically sick (the Spoons Theory meme does a good job of explaining it). And sometimes when I completely run out of energy and I still have to get…

I can’t be alone in hoping you might have some stories of hers to share!