Because even nipple-conscious civilians want a little burlesque-adjacent thrill in their lives?

Sparkly and/or coloured, with or without tassles, meant to be seen: pasties. Plain, flesh-covered, not meant to be seen, worn under clothes to conceal nipplage: nipple covers. Two related but different items.

The first time I caught the bouquet was at an outdoor ceremony, and my then-boyfriend gave me a super cheesy grin and asked “so who’s the lucky guy?” Wow, clearly not YOU, mister.

Target, yep. Audience: all his dudebro buddies in attendance (“haha, close call there, buddy! Nice save” etc.).

From your lips to everyone’s ears. If only.

Pretty sure that’s exactly what ‘Tina intended. Excellent shade game, friend!

Because pasties are something different.

I’d love to have her money and her body (and mayyyybe some of her hot stud boytoys) but I’m not jealous, exactly.

Wow, ALL of this.

“I’m rich, blonde, beautiful, successful, and I have a wood-burning pizza oven in my back yard- and you don’t!”

Smart, successful, strong, gorgeous, great taste, and evidently enjoying a hot marriage to (arguably) the most powerful person on the planet. Nice work if you can get it.

Looking good. And a little terrifying.

Gwynnie’s just being snotty about maraschino cherries dyed bright red and floating in a jar of high fructose corn syrup.

I use pencils every day, but would I go to a special Pencil Only Shoppe? hell no. I’d go to the art supply store, and get the right kind of drawing pencils (Staedtler), plus sharpeners, kneaded rubber erasers, and also tubes of watercolour and brushes on sale and those little hard plastic mixing palettes. And an extra…

It did sound bad, but if memory serves she wrote a refutation- it didn’t happen that way at all. Nevertheless, this incident led to the CBC clamping down on its newscasters accepting paid speaking gigs. I’d google some citations for you but am just running out the door, apologies!

The kind of people who think it’s a terrific idea to gleefully trash an expensive gown for yet another photo op strike me as maybe the same folks who think it’s hilarious to smash wedding cake in each other’s faces. As Miss Manners says, people who want to behave like children on one of the most grown-up occasions of…

You’ve never been waterboarded, have you? Joking aside- “it’s just that her head was lost under layers of soaking fabric”- that’s the point. She would not have been able to breathe through that, and was in real danger of drowning.

I’m hoping not many.

My mother had her white wedding dressed shortened to cocktail length- this was in the 60s. And it looked really great, until some lady spilled a glass of red wine on it at a party. Accidentally, I hope.

If you like evil guys who pretend to be rich, sure.