Don't let your wrist get cramped from clutching those pearls so hard.

Bless your heart.

But only if you're a conventially-attractive hottie. See also: Jenny McCarthy, Ann Coulter.

Of all the withering "how dare she" comments about her age and chosen presentation, this takes the cake. Newsflash: if fortune allows you to live so long, then one day you will hit menopause too, and may you then remember what it's like to be mocked by younger women simply for daring to do whatever the fuck you want…

She's been playing that game since the current crop of writers were in grade school. Possibly longer.

That's because in her long history of interesting choices in men, she probably hasn't actually found one who really freakin' loves eating pussy. There are guys who will refuse, and other guys who'll do it a little just so they can then demand hours of head. But there are also men who will happily muff-dive for hours…

Her belly is relatively flat, and a tummy tuck is actually a huuuuuge deal to get through, and leaves a ginormous scar behind.

I was all set to star you for this, because you're right: we're evolutionarily primed to equate youthful fertility with beauty. And then you had to go and insult the commenter by aluding to her supposed age and ugliness! Damn it! Pro hominem attacks = automatic fail.

Some years ago, I was visiting some friends in southern California and they lent me one of their cars for the duration of my stay. (It was the "beater" of their small fleet, but still a huge deal to me.) One day, I was doing a crappy job backing up, and contrived to hit a parked BMW. Not a scratch on the beemer, but…

Perry's first outfit is straight-up sophisticated. The second is a cheeky costume, played for laffs. Grande's first ensemble is "omg high school!" and the second one is a Tinkerbelle does Victoria's Secret look, right down to the nude stripper platforms. She completely lacks the self-deferential humour that Perry…

My not-fun adventures in medicine lately include being not just a cancer patient, but a complex-wounds patient. Nutrition has consequently gone from being super-important to SUPER-duper-extra-important: I need about twice as much protein as usual in order to grow new skin and stuff. It's not possible for me to eat a…

This is Kara's style. Even mild dissent is met with all-caps derision. I was at the receiving end of that awhile back, and even had other commenters standing up to defend my entirely valid criticism. She can write well, but is a little thin-skinned for a public format like this.

My wusband stopped drinking milk on an extended business trip, and when he came home found he could no longer tolerate it. That was over a decade ago, and to this day he has his cereal with soy milk. Ice cream, butter, cheese, and yogurt are all ok in small amounts, though.

Hard to say, the way it's worded. "Our" dream, "our" home. It's possible that it really was a shared vision; he really wanted to work in game dev, and they both wanted that white picket fence. She's definitely not copping to it if this was more her idea.

"The company my husband was working for was really great. The benefits were amazing, he was paid well, and we had a good life–but we would never be able to afford to buy a house in California. We loved it there, but owning our own home has always been a huge dream of ours..."

I can totally understand how this feels personal because you are a short girl yourself. But like other commenters have said here, there are plenty of shorter ladies in the entertainment biz who still manage to come across as grownup badasses, no matter that they're under 5'3". The side-eyeing of Ariana is because…

OMG thank you for the Stefon gif! I *love* Stefon.

I don't see them as similar in style at all- Katy Perry has a humourous approach to some of her stage costumes and videos, but she comes across like a woman. Grande is presented in a way that makes her super-kawaii cuteness her only really selling point, and it lacks the fun of Perry's sometimes zany look. I'm not a…

You know, there's a possibility that Uma Thurman went to her makeup artist and said, "give me a look that's really going to get me noticed on the red carpet!" And that person said "Okayyyy..."

It's not about her looks- she's a really pretty girl. It's the way she presents the whole package with the breathy voice, the go-go boots, kitty ears, sparkly booty shorts. Someone once commented that she's the human equivalent of a teacup Yorkie, which is hilarious and true. Right down to her boyfriend carrying her…