Perfectly accurate. Here, have a star.

The faked-shock was kind of cute to me. Of course she wore that dress to show off her fantastic ta-tas (and her stylist's utter mastery of TopStick boob tape) and I actually laughed out loud at Renner's joke. What I *don't* appreciate is those women who wear tops with Grand Canyon-cavernous cleavage, who then act all…

If so, it's not working. Everyone loves boobies- even gay guys. In fact, they'll try to touch 'em at the gay bar and tell you to "take the girls out- it's okay, I'm gay!"

I wish I didn't use up precious neurons for stupid trivia like this, but I remember reading an interview with the Dahm triplets (Playboy centrefold models) who are distinguished by the number of tiny dots tattooed on their bottoms as newborns: one sister has one dot, another has two, and the third has none.

But here's the thing about "show-ers"- they don't get smaller when they're hard.

Well, so you do! And it turns out you're a total fox, too! (I know, more nice things. But it's true.)

I fangirled on your writing the last time, and now I'm really hoping you have a blog, or a book coming out, or something, because you clearly have some great stories to tell.

That makes complete sense. Thank you for clarifying that- you had no reason to, but I'm grateful that you took the time.

Now, *that's* some world-class shade, right there. Well played.

That bites, especially for a little kid, but... if that truly is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to you, then I kind of envy your life.

You, me, and everybody else wonders the same thing.

That's really heinous. Cancer is bad enough without helping some anti-science cretin spread her sensationalist falsehoods, unchecked, just to generate page views.

Oh, right. Well, that would definitely put a dent in her free time, for sure. (And who can blame her? Get it, Madge!)

She seems like someone who's too busy managing her household staff and working out four hours a day to possibly have time for friends. Which if it were true makes me admire her willpower and focus, but sad for her too.

What? Broke up with husband William Turner- I thought she only just broke up with husband Orlando Bloom? Is this lady aiming to be the new Elizabeth Taylor or something?

Sometimes they had trouble getting blood from the port, but my wily nurses had tricks- like, getting me in the chemo lounger and then reclining it so far back that my head was lower than my toes. I also had to remember to eat a decent breakfast and drink lots before coming in, lest dehydration spoil my chances. But…

I'm done chemo (YAY!) and now dealing with some surgical complications (BOO!) but yep yep, hanging on to that port and cheers to whoever invented it.

Do people die actually from the chemo? It's pretty closely calibrated to *not* kill you. People on chemo can die from opportunistic infections, because the chemo suppresses the immune system: it's like being an old-school AIDS patient. That's not exactly the same thing. I was on a very agressive form of chemo and felt…

Augh, I did the T as well. Very painful in lots of places. What a horror show to have bad skin reactions in addition to all that- sorry that happened to you.

The regular plebotomist was not equipped to do blood draws via the port, so the chemo nurses would do it for me- and some days it took a few tries, if my vein just wasn't into it. Certainly everybody would have preferred to just do a regular vein draw, but I always stuck politely to my guns: the port was installed for…