Nailed it.

This year, the very expensive spiral ham didn’t get eaten. Quarantine, blah blah blah. So it’s all going to be leftovers.

DORIE GREENSPAN IS A NATIONAL TREASURE. WHATEVER YOU STOLE, GIVE IT BACK!

11/10

GREAT CONVENIENCE STORES OF TAMPA

Frankly, I’d rather show you my search history or share my credit card numbers over public WiFi.

I’m all for nachos. They’re much more fun to dump accidentally on someone sitting nearby than a $12 beer.

Totally forgot the hot brown. Great call. Had it this year at home, actually.

It shouldn’t astonish me as much as it does — or that it happens with the frequency it does the force which people use -- to go out of their way to be pointlessly and anonymously unkind. 

You are nothing but a ray of fucking sunshine. 

Masshole.

Sprite has lymon?

Sounds delish. 

Sprite was the trigger, wasn’t it?

Any baseball stadium that doesn’t sell peanuts and Cracker Jack are either doing it wrong or Canadian. I’d hazard a guess that shitty hot dogs are more of baseball’s common denominator. The Dodger Dog, I hear, costs $170 million.

Given a choice of sports-related foods, I’d choose a Pimento Cheese Sandwich any day over:

With all due respect - and remember, I said “with all due respect - unassisted Hershey’s s’mores is for amateurs. So are graham crackers.

Human history long will remember the wheel and fire and moon landings and Hard As Hoof nail strengthening cream as hallmarks of human creation and ingenuity, but bendy straws deserve to be in that conversation.

Bitches, I’ve been watching Hallmark Christmas movies since July.

Check your inbox, Madam.