The pretzel cart was where he got his start as a boy entrepreneur. Taught him a ton about business as he was growing up.

I’ve seen that look. That woman is in no mood for a Scheftie.

Pretty crazy when someone answers a seemingly general mechanical question on the molecular level and it’s taken instead as dry sarcasm.

Welcome to Shawshank.

Not-moist forcemeat sounds painful.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, my churroma.

Forcemeat, yes.

The word “forcemeat” is so perfect for what it describes. 

Four words: Cheese Curd Po’ Boy.

If my eyes looked like that, I’d be releasing brown as well.

Taco-Book makes me want to check one out of the library.

The cooking at the infield at Daytona for NASCAR races is unreal. At one race I went to, two guys were cooking fried lobster tails, pork loin, London broil, cheese dogs, bratwurst, slabs o’ ribs, you name it. When they weren’t perched on a scaffolding spread between two pickup truck beds watching the race. Serious…

Aircraft carrier, submarine, PT boat, destroyer and a cruiser.

They all sunk.

That throw was so good, they should alert next of kin.

Cage: Y’know, I could eat a truffle for hours.

vonWerssowetz to Cheetos and popcorn: “Now, you two kiss.”

Will have to try this, but I believe it’s ease because I make applesauce for a friend’s “Latekefest.” Applesauce is such an easy thing to make and people are always knocked out by it because, 1.) They’ve probably never made it; 2.) The flavor is so much better; 3.) They don’t really know anyone else who’s made it.

Café Con Lecherous

Black beans and rice, with diced red onion and a splash of hot sauce, centers the world for me every single damn time.

If a hole made something a bagel ...