Agreed. Popcorn is a blank canvas for flavors.

Taco Seasoning +

Somebody’s ice is fresh.

It’s an industry spilling over with super-judgey emo yeasters who want to get back at the world for getting pegged in the head in dodgeball.

7. Don’t drop their phone.

I’m old school. I prefer my condiments with cat, not krazy Ks.

Biscotti’s redneck cousin.

You can Kranch if you want to. You can leave catsup behind.

I don’t identify my instant cocoa by binary European gender pronouns.

It’s why I wear the brown lip balm. Hides that ass.

This should do.

So, I guess snorting is not an option?

Next time you tell it, just say, “My fuck-happy roommate once asked me in our bunk beds if his cunnilingus-deprived, bushtastic girlfriend could use my razor to mow her puss before munching.”

Seems only fair, since if I’m ordering Domino’s, I’m already pre-loaded.

Streisand is so mentl.

Makes sense, especially since they grill the Krispy Kremes to a spectacularly warm temperature at the state fair before turning them into burger buns. If they had used a defibrillator to revive me after eating it, the screen would have read, “HOT NOW.”

Weird. I’m about to cook my way through Bourdain’s last book, “Appetites,” since it seems like the food he most likely enjoyed. No pretense. No bullshit. Lots of happy memories associated with the recipes. It’s what he cooked and ate when he cooked for and ate with friends and family. 

Cigar City’s Joey Redner would have burned the brewery to the ground before selling to AB/InBev.

Great article.

Cigar City’s Maduro Brown Ale, poured over vanilla ice cream.