Uh oh, now Christopher Cross and Kris Kristofferson want in.

Wow, I would have totally guessed she'd have followed Teri from Three's Company into the Skinemax ghetto.

That bad? But all my favorite bands are from Indianapolis. All those Indy rockers.

I vaguely remember her being good as the annoying little tomboy sister early on. I say vaguely because even though I've seen every Happy Days episode multiple times as a kid I've somehow forgotten almost everything about the show.

The Cantina music style is called "Jizz."

Don't get cocky.

I've always thought she should open a steakhouse franchise. Christy Todd's Ruth's Chris.

Weird how you can educate kids on bees and you can educate kids on birds but you try to combine the lessons and you go to jail.

I would like to officially apologize to the good Cap'n as well as other fine Quaker Oats (a division of Pepsico) mascots including but not limited to Quisp, King Vitamin, the pilgrim guy and Mr. T.

You should color the Born in the USA cover with the French flag colors.

She's gonna be the first Grey Jedi, I hear.

You know you have to eat 1,000 bowls of Boo Berry to get the fiber in one bowl of Total?

I would never eat that crap. The man doesn't even hold a legitimate military rank, "cap'n" is a meaningless adjective like "lite."

I'm a bit worried that supposed adults are recommending coloring books and Star Wars stickers. Though most of that worry is why I am visiting such a place so often and what that says about me.

I don't think we should be congratulating ourselves or anything, but when someone says we're the most racist country in the world I have to wonder how much of the world they're familiar with.

No, Factfindingmission is still going to have to play Mary.

I think it's time to call for execution reform. As beheadings get more and more gruesome we have to think of the puppies' feelings.

Pff. If Spidey needs to emote he can just spin emoji designs in his web.

The AVClub's new editor J. Jonah Jameson seems to have a Spider Man fixation.

They didn't forget, it's part of his powers. Spiders don't have penises. They have specialized pedipalps for inseminating sperm.