...kind of out of it out there. (Brands) said ‘Throw me.’

Why would you want someone to commit a possibly injury inducing foul? It seems to me you very much enjoyed the Piston style of shitass play. You’re a fucking idiot.

Reuben, what happened at the combined?!

Would whoever is playing as Okafor please recharge your controller? Thank you!

This is outstanding. I’m actually genuinely thrilled for this and hope that he has a long, long career running the Lakers.

“But he did, at least, manage to be one of the only examples we have of someone pulling off a gold chain while bowling.”

yeah, because they don’t cover “the earth is round” until your 4th year at Duke.

S.T.A.B. - Smile To make it All Better

The sooner people realize McCarthy is in the top 5 of the funniest people who ever lived ever the better off we’ll all be.

It seems hypocritical to keep referring to it as an egg and not a chicken.

Wow, someone’s triggered

Travis Kelce does elaborate dances after touchdowns, makes jerking off motions toward refs on the field, gets a stupid unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after dropping an important pass in a playoff game, and has his own reality show in which women compete for the chance to date him. Yet somehow he doesn’t get half the…

Well I went to J-School (I assume you mean Jesuit School) and let me tell you someone else who thought to do something on a Friday that was written about on a Monday. It was Jesus Christ and he thought to, oh I dunno, DIE FOR YOUR SINS? And you know what was written about him doing that? Only the most important book…

I was hoping they’d become the Los Angeles Ospreys or Ocelots or something with an “O.” Then they could use this:

I was raised by my mother and my grandmother. My father was a distant figure throughout my life. When I put on my cowboy hat and speedo and rollerbladed into Claire’s to get my belly button pierced as a young man, it wasn’t because I didn’t have a dad. It was because I fucking ruled.

Never send a human and a horse to do the job of a monkey and dog.

Wine comes in a bottle?

No, that’d be stupid. The kid spends his Sundays at a bar.

Found it

Horse says “alcoholism is destroying my family.”