Co-signed,

Wait... what? I’m sorry, the last few years have completely borked my sarcasm detector... the cereal thing is real? I thought the “name breakfast cereals” was a joke. That’s... real? And it stems from one of them eating cereal with piss? And that stems from a HamNo piece?

through its now mostly defunct militant wing, the Fraternal Order of Alt Knights.

The kind that comes in gallon cans with a plain white label.

Melania might as well be a tree herself, for all the personality she exhibits.

That actually sounds like a great movie :). I just meant mental health in the sense of not reminding my why the holidays can be so depressing - Disney is hard not just because a major parent or grandparent almost always dies, but also because they’re also all about positive family relationships or romances, and, well,…

thanks for excerpting this, fucking loved it. cheers.

Me too...wish the funeral would hurry up and get here.

I’m so glad you posted this excerpt. Caitlin Moran shows so much insight into the way teenaged girls are treated, and how bullshit it is.

This little Rodgers had most beef, this little Rodgers had Munn....

If you had chickenpox as a child, you are at increased risk for shingles as an adult. There is a safe and effective shingles vaccine (a variant of the chickenpox vaccine, basically) that is recommended for adults. Speak to your healthcare provider about getting it if you’re 50 years of age or older.

or fence in the over pass... chainlink cage going up and over.

Annnd if you sent that to someone random they'd be super concerned! 

You mean the text bitching about my mum, that I sent to my boyfriend, but actually sent it to my mum, while I was sitting right in front of her?

My worst text was the result of an autocorrect fail: I was newly single, and had just hired a super Christian type guy to mow my grass once a week. He was around my age, very friendly and cute, but also very married. We got along well, but I made sure to keep a professional boundary because: 1. he was married and 2.…

I honestly can’t think of any particularly bad text that I’ve sent (or received).

Awww, thats nice!

Every text I’ve sent to a man after I’ve decided to stop sleeping with them...only to message them again when I’m horny and have low self-esteem. Every damn text. Stop re-opening the door, dummy!

None because I do my best and most regrettably unforced errors in person thank you very much.

Most regrettable text?