You were wise. I got halfway through.

Someone please break the Circle of Tragic Child Actor Stars and Their Parents.

“It’s a badge of honor for your average wingnut. Assholes are LEADERS. They tell it like it is.” Bonus points if they scold you for being intolerant of their assholish behavior.

Your comment needs to be the top comment. I can practically hear them setting up their GoFundMe page so they don’t “have to make Mary the Maid of Honor”.

“It’s probably a weird time for Knox”

God, I wish that season lived up to its potential.

Clowns don’t use such heavy handy methods as machete-wielding. Their terror is far more refined!

“and chased him—or her!—with a machete”

They truly just can’t help themselves.

I just want confirmation that the host of the piece is the same guy who played Nick River’s agent in Top Secret. These are the things that keep me up at night.

“roiling fecal sea”

Now that right there is what they call “vision”.

You have become the Mazin to TomatoFace’s Cruz. God bless you.

“the reality of the situation doesn’t make me less of a man” The fact that we’re still at a place where he feels he needs to qualify his situation like this is awful. Hang in Thurmanator.

You deserve more stars for this

The only thing they hate more than women, minorities, Muslims, gun control, the Gay Agenda, France, liberals, socialism, unions, evolution, and Elizabeth Warren is reasonableness.

Dude was 56? Damn, looks more like 81 in that photo.

In a prison cell somewhere, Richard Reid breathes a sigh of a relief that the title of World’s Greatest Failed Terrorist has finally been passed on.

I find this both informative and horrifying.

I know, right? I didn’t know about the rights issues though. That helps explain things a little bit. One minute, this franchise was probably looking at itself as the heir-apparent to the LotR fantasy crown / cash cow then it just became this weird also-ran.